round the writers block

if you've got your hands full I'll hold that grudge for you......

2011-09-04T10:15:00.000+01:00

well maybe i won't, truth is I'm not very good at holding things (I think the only thing I hold well is secrets).

You know how it is with grudges, when you first get them they are all hot and steamy, a veritable hotpot of fresh, wholesome ingredients. You can't always identify all the ingredients and, truth be told, it's not always possible to say what meat is but you WANT it and you anticipate enjoying it.

Oh dear, I seem to be drifting off into food heaven.

So, grudges. There have been a number of times when people have badly hurt me, things like false lovers, false friends, bad neighbours and bad employers. At the time I spent a great deal of time plotting my revenge (well I am a scorpio) and I do have information which could severely hurt some of these people.
But today I find myself thinking 'what the hell' trust Karma and take control of life because none of these people matter.Whoops, I've dropped another grudge!

Actually, I only wrote this because I said good morning to a neigbour as I left the house for work and her grunt was so reluctant and full of ill grace that I laughed all the way to the bus stop.

Now, about that hotpot...........

The Good, the Bad and the ......'you didn't!'...........did you?

2011-06-13T23:49:00.000+01:00

Last Saturday I, along with my family, attended a charity ceilidh which was the culmination of my youngest brothers fundraising for 5 charities close to his heart. The event was to present cheques to the charities for the money raised when he completed the Marathon des Sables.

Anyway, it was a good night and more money was raised, people had fun and the odd face from the past popped up....ah, yes, the faces from the past.
When i arrived I was surprised to see that the barmaid was an ex girlfriend of mine but these things happen, Leeds is a big city but we have been bouncing around it for a quarter of a century since we parted ways and chance encounters happen. Moments later I look across the room and there is another of my ex's........ I now start looking around for hidden cameras and t.v etc. two in one night? this is getting weird. I was just in the middle of confiding in my son when who should I spot across the not very crowded room but ex number 3!

Friends told me, during the evening that ex's #4 and #5 were originally attending but had been unable to make it :o)

I was pleased to see one but fairly horrified to see one of the others for reasons only a few of my close long term friends will understand.
Because there is a possibility that one of the ladies mentioned could read this I wish to clarify that the title of this blog item refers to my state of mind and not to personal attributes.

A dry run - starring the man with no brain

2011-05-24T23:13:00.000+01:00

Here is a tragic tale which reflects life in Britain in the 21st century and the falling level of ability and intelligence in staff at our supermarkets.

Last weekend we celebrated my daughters 19th birthday and, she decided she would have a barbecue in the garden. With this in mind she went to our local supermarket, a branch of Morrisons. Because there was a lot of shopping she was accompanied by her boyfriend (aged 19) and her sister and cousin (both 17). As they began to place cases of beer in their trolley they were approached by the security guard who told them that they could not purchase alcohol and must take it out of the trolley. Both my daughter and her boyfriend showed proof of their age but were told that they could be buying alcohol for the under age people with them. To save argument my daughter asked if it would be ok if her dad came down and bought the beer and was told that this would be fine. I arrived and we began to re-load the trolley watched by the security man who then decided to tell me that I would not, in fact, be able to buy the booze. He began to speak to my daughter's boyfriend in a confrontative and belittling manner and I asked him to stop, explaining that to refer to an adult male as 'boy' was not good customer relations. A manager approached and explained that he couldn't serve me as I was associated with my daughter who might have been buying alcohol for under age drinkers. I explained that I was indeed buying alcohol for my daughter as it was her 19th birthday and that I was quite prepared to admit to being associated with all my children, 3 of whom are currently 'under age'
We left having told them that we would shop elsewhere. As we left we were told that two other people had just been refused service because they had been seen talking to people who looked under 18.

A supermarket has the right to refuse to serve anyone but they should also have the right to employ people with brains and should provide adequate training regarding retail law. A shop can be prosecuted for selling alcohol to someone under 18 and to this end many challenge anyone who looks under 25. If I buy alcohol on behalf of someone under 18 I can be prosecuted not the supermarket. Further to this, if I buy alcohol I can legally allow my 17 year old daughter or niece to drink within my property.
Morrisons supermarket wants to take control where they have none and where they may well end up having fewer customers

Forget me errrrrrr thingy

2011-05-07T23:42:00.000+01:00

I've never been good with my memory but just lately it seems worse and I'm acutely aware that I get midway through saying something and then realise I've forgotten a key point which is a bit embarrassing. My conversation is full of errrrs and thingies and awkward moments and it must seem so insulting when I can never remember someone's name.

I'm sure there was a reason for me bringing this up but it seems to have eluded me but it was something about the value of memories and how, as a person who lives in the past, I hate the idea of forgetting. I would like to record as much of my memory and my thoughts and feelings but sadly I suffer from terminal laziness and anyway, whenever I make a decision to do something about it I forget to get started.

Thought for the day: errrrrrr, hold on, it's on the tip of my tongue

rare friends

2011-05-02T23:01:00.000+01:00

Today, being the first Monday of May, was the May bank holiday and so I headed off to check out the May day celebrations. Where I live we have a pleasant enough day with a small fairground, dancing (traditional and modern) and displays of country craft etc. Amongst the stalls this year was one from a local farm promoting and selling their meat products, I tasted some samples and they were rather splendid but reading the info and ingredients raised some questions which led to me musing deeply on and off throughout the day.
'Made from our own rare breed pigs' ok, does this taste better\different and why, if the poor pigs are already rare, are we eating them? Is this what happened to the dodo? did some entrepreneur see a gap in the game market and fill it? did this mystery business guru increase the price as the breed got rarer and retire on the fabulous price he\she got for the last of breed? We may never know.
'All our animals are hand reared' This conjured up visions of orphan lambs and children's pets, of petting zoos and lifelong friendship. I love my friends but I wouldn't eat most of them.
The labels also had a 'killed on' date to ensure freshness so all in all the only bit of information missing was the name of my sausage\burger and perhaps it's star sign and favourite flower

Precious precipitates

2011-04-23T00:33:00.001+01:00

I was going to entitle this entry golden shower but I'm not one to tout undeserved hits..................

The last 24 hours have been a time of golden moments both large and small and for this I am indeed grateful.
Yesterday evening I attended my PTA meeting in a local hostelry (as the token male) and spent several pleasant hours in great company. We ended the night with an enforced redesign of the decor in the pub because we truly love Jimmy, the landlord, and want him to achieve dizzying heights of success.He even paid us in free drinks and chips.
Today I had my first proper sleep in for absolutely ages and when i did get up I found I had received an absolutely wonderful message on Helium complimenting one of my poems and asking permission to read it out at a festival, yay, international recognition at last!
It has been a lovely warm day today and I have managed to hang around the house and garden without getting bogged down with chores and stuff (well not too much) before going out for a meal this evening.

All little things but good and things that don't often come my way so I am grateful and chilled : )

a rather hopeless affliction

2011-04-18T10:28:00.000+01:00

I have recently isolated and identified a highly viral and, thus far, incurable disease which has swept through my immediate family with devastating and far reaching results.

In common with most of the population the members of my family endure periods of intense misery and discomfort. These feelings invariably occur around the middle of the month, just before I get paid, and seem to indicate that they dislike having no money.

I was confident that we, as a family, could learn to cope with this bi-polar condition but sadly there has been a development. It appears that there is a second condition and that although it is low level it is a constant condition.
Most members of the family hate having (or at least hate me having) any money. Whenever money finds it's way into my pocket it has to be disposed of as quickly as possible.
I am continuing to study this condition in the hope that a cure or at least some relief can be found but would welcome advice and accounts of other experiences (but mainly donations)

Burn the witch (or something like that)

2011-04-14T23:57:00.000+01:00

There have been times when I've sailed pretty close to the edge regarding my behaviour both on and of the net and I've certainly always had a mischievous and sometimes flirtatious side so I fully expected that one day I would find myself in trouble. What i didn't expect was to find myself in trouble when I wasn't really that close to the line but this is what happened to me last weekend.
Those of you who frequent facebook will be aware of a new feature which allows anyone to post a question and multiple choice answers (you can also leave it open for people to suggest new answers). I decided to throw a few questions out and amongst these was 'Would you pose nude?' with various choices from no, never to yes, where do you want me? At it's heart it was a serious question and allowed people to say they would pose nude i the name of art, for love or for money. I also put out a question playing on an old comedy catchphrase, This question asked, Are you free? and went on to allow people to say yes, no or reasonably priced THIS IS CALLED A JOKE.

I sent my questions to a few friends at random including a small group of 'friends' and most of them answered and seemed to enter into the spirit then one of these friends received the questions (admittedly very soon after 'friending' me and, obviously without following the link, decided that I was asking her if she was free and also asking her to get naked for me. She posted a dire warning to her friends and I duly received nasty threats from some guy who fancied himself a defender of the weak and helpless. Dutifully ignoring the misguided he-man I attempted to explain to the wronged lady and also apologised if my questions had given the wrong impression and another friend pitched in with a character reference but she had already unfriended me. Ok, end of unfortunate story I thought but no, most of her friends then proceeded to unfriend me too (including one who I have been friends with for a good few years) even though they had all answered my questions and knew that I wasn't perving after them. People are so strange!
On reflection what I find sad is that we live in a time where people are so ready to leap to the assumption that someone's motives are dishonourable and that there are people who are so very judgemental.
It's not the loss of approx six friends that bothers me although I will miss some of them it's more sadness at what they lose when they put on their blinkers and shoot from the hip.

ten minutes of my life

2011-02-19T22:55:00.000Z

Dad, carry the laundry up stairs
Dad, come down here, I need to show you something
Dad, bring Jack's medicine up
Dad, get me a clean towel form up stairs

at leaat I'm getting some exercise

I like poetry!

2011-02-19T10:47:00.000Z

I do, I really do but it took me a lot of courage to say so because as soon as I say that I like it people expect me to be sort of knowledgeable and I'm not.
I can't quote poets, i haven't got a clue about poetic form, I can't discuss it in an academic manner.

When i say I like poetry I mean I like how it feels, what it does to me (and sometimes for me) I can read or hear a piece and feel it so much and I don't care whether it's true to form or written in the poets 'striped cheetah' period, whether it's 'famous' or whether it's someones only ever attempt (and yes, I do think that everyone has poetry within them).

I like writing poetry as well, sometimes I'm silly, or sad, sometimes I'm awesome or bad but it really doesn't matter because it's my poetry, my life, my feelings and as a sort of human being I do have many facets.
Whenever someone shows me a poem that they have written I remember that it is an extension of themselves and \I am privileged to be allowed that glimpse

slap me with a rancid fish and call me a fool

2011-02-14T00:12:00.000Z

I'm not a happy bunny at the moment because my job, which i love, is under threat.
Now it may not be a massive threat but I'm not a massively tough person.
I have been working on the mobile library for almost exactly three years and have been on a series of temp contracts which have got shorter and shorter. Whenever I have expressed my concern i have been re-assured that, when the council sorts out it's current reviews and housekeeping my contract would be made permanent but for the present they couldn't create or renew ANY permanent contracts.
Fool that I am it never clicked that, in a recent reorganisation they had done exactly that!
So.......last Friday we had a meeting and were asked to talk about any issues we might have and i mentioned temp contracts on behalf of myself and two others. Senior manager tells us that the time is approaching when out jobs will be made permanent (big smiles) and that when they are we can apply for them (big smiles disappear).
I spend the rest of the day feeling very down.
Now most people don't like what is happening and lots of people have said to me 'don't worry, you have the experience etc you will get the job' and yes, that SHOULD be the case and I should be supremely unfazed but let's just examine the recent history regarding my post.
The first time i applied I didn't get the job, it was given to someone who was unable\unwilling to take up the post due to the nature of his criminal history.
The time before the post was given to someone who didn't have a licence to drive the library vans

so why am i afraid to trust the system?

doing something different

2011-02-05T21:36:00.000Z

I suppose there is a message there for me when I walk into my local chinese takeaway and my order is written before I manage to open my mouth. Yes, I'm getting predictable, boring, stuck in a rut perhaps I need to do something about it...........I have plans lol

One person who made sure she wasn't boring this week was Sally Bercow, the wife of the speaker of the house of commons who did a bit of a photo shoot and gave an interview this week. Pictured by the window of their apartment wrapped in a sheet she admitted that she loved the idea of having sex under big ben and that power was an aphrodisiac.
being married to one of the most powerful men in Britain she (or he) is very lucky because she must be constantly horny.
It seems that she is required to apologise for her indiscretion but I'm not really sure what she is apologising for; is it that she admits to having sex with her husband rather than random strangers, or that she likes being around power, perhaps it's that she is proud of her body (quite justifiably in my opinion) or that she has a sense of humour.......
I want it on record that I don't require an apology. If she were an elected minister or public servant I would be voting for her because it seems to me she might be the only honest person inside the palace of Westminster

don't sit here

2011-01-13T00:32:00.000Z

One of the blessings (and curses) of modern technology is the speed with which information travels. Occasionally I will see a status update or tweet from someone along the lines of 'fat smelly guy approaching, hope he doesn't sit next to me'
or 'weirdo sat next to me trying to talk to me, help!' These sort of messages are invariably from youngish females.
So now I wonder, when I get on a crowded bus, is she frantically texting that she hopes I don't sit near her?; is she dissing me to her friends?.

It's not only females who have these thoughts though, I know I do. There are certain people on my morning bus ride who I pray won't sit next to me (and one or two I hope will) Usually it's a decision made on size or odour, I'm not a massive person but the bus seats aren't over generous and I hate being squashed.
It's interesting to watch the body language though, how people shuffle either across a seat or squash into the side to make the vacancy either appealing or virtually non-existent. The old guy ,spread legs pose takes up loads of room even if the user looks like they have a serious hydrocele or ill fitting pants. Bags are great for taking space and once or twice I have either sat on someones bag or politely asked them to move it.

pulled up short

2011-01-07T21:36:00.000Z

(and that isn't a reference to my impressive stature)

I had the undeniable pleasure of chatting with a old (as in long term) and dear friend today,the kind of friend who is on the same wavelength and who I could probably tell my deep, dark, dirty secrets to (if I had any).It made me stop and think and did several things to me
1. It made me incredibly happy
2. It made me incredibly guilty (for losing contact)
3. It made me happy to be alive
4. It inspired me (but to do what I'm not yet sure)

Real friends are forever and I'm blessed with the ones I have those I've met and those I've yet to meet.

what, no friends

2010-10-04T10:41:00.000+01:00

A couple of days ago one of my daughters, in the heat of an arguement, told me that I spent all my time on the internet and that I didn't have any real friends, just internet ones.
To a large extent she is right in that I don't have friends who I meet with and stuff but I do take issue with her making internet and real friend mutually exclusive.
I have known some of my internet friends for about 7 years now and they probably know things about me that no-one else does. If I was looking for someone I could trust then I think (with very few exceptions) I would be looking to the computer.
I'm not saying that I have a lot of internet friends in the real sense but there are a few I know well and have done for quite a while and others who I have met more recently but are showing promise. I used to give my trust easily but I think I am wiser now and certainly more vulnerable so I proceed with caution and only a handful of people in this world know the real me.

if you've got it flaunt it

2010-09-20T16:11:00.000+01:00

The big news on X factor at the moment is the call girl, Chloe, who has managed to get through the auditions. When it was discovered that she sells sex there were demands for her to be thrown out.
I think she is very lucky to have two saleable talents and she is right to use them both. I am a little jealous as I can't make a living with my voice or my body but, hey, perhaps one day I'll find my talent.
I do think that show business is pretty much into selling sex anyway but Chloe is just more honest about it.
above all other considerations she is from my area so I will obviously support her to the hilt (wonder if she wants a manager.....)

assorted secrets

2010-08-30T20:14:00.000+01:00

I sometimes use applications on facebook such as honesty box and truth box (yeah ok I sometimes use 100's of applications but this isn't about my lack of life). It's interesting to offer people the chance to comment anonymously and I always hope that with the promise of anonymity people will be more likely to be honest. The only problem is that when I get into discussions I get a bit stuck because when someone asks me a question I don't know who I'm telling and, the truth is, there are some things that some people shouldn't know.
So these anonymous things are fine for a bit of fun or learning a few home truths but when it comes to revealing my feelings or stuff about me I like to know who I'm telling. I'm actually quite an open person but I'm not good at initiating conversation so I actually like people to ask me things. I never take offence (I might not tell all but will always explain why)and I really do prefer sharing with friends.

How to make money from the side effects of medication

2010-08-25T23:36:00.000+01:00

Just now and again I've had a slight sight disturbance caused possibly by some of the medication I wolf down daily and possibly by my habit of staying up far to late.
This sight disturbance takes the form of double vision but I didn't realise this until after I'd sold all my duplicate DVDs on e-bay

Stuff Karma

2010-08-03T01:03:00.002+01:00

I've always been a great believer in the karmic nature of life, turns out I have always been wrong.

Sunday: I spend my valuable time being a defender of man's friend the honey bee, extolling the virtues of this wonderful little worker and the value of honey to mankind. I suggest the planting of bee friendly flowers and ponder the possibility of installing a bee shelter in my garden.

Monday: running up my own drive I collide with one of my buzzy friends, he takes offence and leaves his abdomen protruding from my face a cm below my right eye.

Ouch!

secret lives

2010-07-23T12:46:00.003+01:00

There are times when on a bus journey when I don't feel like reading and lack the inspiration to write. At these times I tend to observe my fellow passengers (some more than others) and imagine their lives. Following this train of thought does sometimes give me ideas for writing and it passes the time.
Recently I have discovered a new tool to aid me in my amusement\research - bluetooth!
All I have to do is go to the bluetooth on my phone and scan for new contacts and in no time at all I have a list of bluetooth devices in range. I'm not so much interested in the ones that are just a device name and apart from looking around to try to put names to faces stuff like Sue or Sue's phone are of limited value. The ones I like are the nicknames because then i can really have fun trying to fit nicknames to people, could 'fuzzmop' be the woman over there with frizzy hair? Is 'beaky' the guy with a rather large nose? who's 'donkey'? and why?
Suddenly a whole world of secret life possibilities is available and i have some possibly wonderful situations and characterizations for future use.

Just one thing I'd really like to know, who IS 'spunk gobbler'?

nothing really

2010-06-02T23:58:00.005+01:00

I suppose we all go through phases when we aren't writing much and the idea fairy takes a break....
Anyway i decided to just sir down and type so goodness only knows what will emerge. It's been am up and down few weeks. As usual I'm spending far to much time on facebook. I've made a few new friends on there and having road tested them I have a fairly good idea which will work out and which won't. Friendship is always a bit of a risk, especially in the early days when you are sort of feeling your way but you do get a feel for who people are whilst swapping silly comments and poking.
I am constantly thinking about a very special friend who I know has had a tough time of late, I never stop thinking about her, usually I keep a positive spin on things but now and again the old negativity creeps in, that happened last night, I really plummeted and really suddenly but luckily my most stalwart friend happened to be on line and a simple hug arrested my fall (who would believe that several sets of brackets could do so much - perhaps there's a story or poem in that 'saved by parenthesis')

Hospital in the morning, would you believe this will be the first time I've seen the cardiologist on my own, not through my choice! At least I'll be able to talk about my issues without being contradicted or rubbished.

I'm loving my job at the moment, perhaps because I am working alone and being allowed to make decisions. Got some really nice compliments from customers today and asked one customer the question we've been dying to know for ages- what sort of doctor are you? she's a forensic psychologist, a real live cracker?

On the writing front there isn't much happening but I'm pleased to note that my Helium earnings are now at $32

Got your C card?

2010-05-29T11:04:00.003+01:00

I've known about the C card scheme in my town for a while, I'm not sure whether it's local or national though.
The C card is a plastic card given to teenagers under 16 so that they can get free condoms without any questions being asked.
Last night my son came home from youth club with his C card and his supply of condoms HE IS 12 YEARS OLD.
My son knows about sex and about safe sex and he is bound to be interested but I advise him to wait a while yet, the local council knows better and are happy to provide 6 condoms a week to him.

I don't know why our country is having problems with under age sex

Condoms are available at the central library in my town so it was strange when a librarian complained about young boys harassing girls by making lewd suggestions and throwing condoms at them. 'Who the hell gives them condoms' she exclaimed. errr, we do

the karmic nature of my health

2010-05-24T10:50:00.003+01:00

when I was first diagnosed with depression I was (predictably) wondering what the point was and, as I began to make my first recovery I struggled with how the depression had changed my life, taken away opportunities and stained my memories. Depression is such a pointless thing and i really was resolved to cancel my subscription especially as some very special people didn't want me to be sad.
Then I get the second health blow, I suddenly find I have a heart condition and my future options are even more limited.
Either of these health problems is bad on it's own but I suddenly realise the heart thing gives meaning to the depression. people (professionals) look at my heart diagnosis and sort of mutter things like 'this could kill you' they then offer counselling to help me cope. Ha I don't need counselling because I have had a low level depression for years and death no longer holds any fear for me as in:-
'you might die tomorrow'
'that's ok, I have nothing to live for' (Ok not strictly true, I have one thing left and when I get there it will mean I need to live for a very long time)

Suddenly I don't think I'm making sense but at least I've found a way for depression to make me happy. Isn't the human brain an amazing thing?

secret England fans

2010-05-19T12:12:00.003+01:00

Absolute hell is breaking out in various fora and communities over the declaration that the wearing of England football shirts will be banned in pubs during the world cup.
I'm not sure what the rationale is behind this because it really is a case of Leopard's and spots. If a person is a thug or hooligan then making them into 'undercover' supporters won't change a thing. Perhaps it's about going into a pub awash with England shirts being intimidating for those who either follow another team or don't follow football at all. Sorry but that's reality, this is England and it is to be hoped that the majority of football fans will be supporting the 'home' team (no matter how embarrassing the government find them).
This issue isn't really about England fans as the same anger would be found on telling a Kiwi that they couldn't wear their All Blacks shirt or telling a Yankees fan that they couldn't wear their teams shirt on the day of the big game.

I am wondering if this is a clever ruse by the BNP to gain support. If it is, it appears to be working.

because my finger is on the literary pulse of the world.....

2010-05-09T22:33:00.004+01:00

Fresh from my experience at the 2010 mobilemeet I bring you, my friends, the latest in current thinking, the very razor edge of the sharpest minds, the zenith of current research etc.
It may surprise you to know, if you have the odd book around at home, that you possess a therapeutic tool. Yes it's true! We had a speaker at the mobilemeet who told us so. Reading is a therapeutic activity!.
OK, I'm being unfair, we all know reading is therapeutic, many of us have experienced first hand the beneficial effects of literature.
What the speaker had very successfully done was to adopt and present a buzzword there-by taking a common sense, obvious fact and making it 'professional', 'sellable' and 'hip'. We don't say to someone 'sit down for 30 minutes a day and read and reflect we say 'I suggest you begin bibliotherapy as it may help with the issues you are experiencing'
The exciting and ground breaking things you should know
* People can recognise characters and situations in literature which are similar to their own and can use the fiction to see ways of dealing with issues
*reading helps the reader to experience emotions from a viewpoint other than their own
*reading about a situation can allow the reader to postulate on possible outcomes and use this model in their own situation.
*reading can help to positively modify mood.

The speaker told us, without any false modesty, that her initiative had made a massive, international splash so there is a lesson there. The thing is that the lesson is that we really should communicate better because 10 miles away a number of psychiatric workers had been advocating the same therapy for quite a while when she made her discovery.

so, there you go

Geek alert ;)

2010-05-07T21:38:00.004+01:00

Tomorrow I will be attending the 2010 mobilemeet. Yep, it's the annual get together for mobile libraries where we get to look at each other's vans, discuss mobile stuff and generally enthuse about mobile libraries and their place in society. I've never been before but I'm taking Leeds Libraries' brand new van which will be one day old! I'm rather hoping that there will be a nice van from another area there and that we can get them together and have lots of little mobile libraries very soon.
There are even prizes for the best van's, fleets etc.
I might even take photographs

do you love my stripey t-shirt?

2010-05-02T21:57:00.002+01:00

Yesterday was party day here as we had two birthdays in da house.
The kids had decided to have a chocolate fountain and had set it up in the kitchen before going off to do 'kid stuff'
So there i am feeding more chocolate into the fountain along side Sophie my daughter who was using a long spoon to coax the chocolate down to the centre. Quite suddenly the spoon caught under the edge of the 'tower' section which lifted up. The whole tower(full of liquid chocolate) started spinning wildly and we were treat to a chocolate shower which, because of the rotation, was in neat stripes. I hit the stop button and we took stock. Various people rushed around being very adult about the mess, the cleaning up, who's fault it was etc........And there, in the middle I stood laughing my chocolate coated socks off. I love being the oldest kid in the house!

Libraries are for wankers (a mystery explained)

2010-04-30T12:08:00.002+01:00

Whilst parked at one of my stops today I found my entrance darkened by a group of 5 youths who, between them (and with some difficulty),read the large lettering on the van and deduced that this was a mobile library.
Hi, I said, by way of breaking the ice without confusing them
One of them started to laugh quickly followed by his pack (I am a funny guy but this was a better response than usual)
He looked at me for a moment and then opined that 'libraies are for wankers' (which was obviously a better joke than my 'hi' one)
'Ahhhh', I replied, 'I bet you never go to libraries do you?'
'fuck off' he replied 'I'm not a wanker' (his comedy routine was now really taking off, the audience were loving it)
'well, no, obviously' I replied 'you're hardly equipped for that are you'
It was a toss up whether they moved in on me or wandered off but after a moment of looking blank I think they forgot where they were and they slide off to spread their comedic cheer

Party held, lessons learned

2010-04-29T18:42:00.002+01:00

Last night I had a party as the family are away. it wasn't a grand affair and thankfully all attendees behaved and there was very little clearing up to do this morning.
Both during and indeed after the party I found that |i was learning some valuable lessons which I would like to share here.

1. one is a good number of people to have at a party as it avoids both loving AND fighting

2. One is a terrible number to have at a party as it limits entertaining conversation (although that is surely what facebook is for)

3. If you want lots of cyber input you need to put all your friends in the same time zone

4. There is a limit to the 'damage' a drunk can do if he is the only drunk around

5. Stuff the damage, it's fun to get drunk with your friends now and again and errr, friends will forgive. Won't they?

6. The settee is really rather comfortable

I seriously need help with this

2010-04-27T10:50:00.004+01:00

well, when I say seriously I mean 'it would be nice' to have some help but there is no doubt at all that I do need help, just not sure if it's with this or with other issues.
Be warned, what I am about to ask may (nay WILL) offend some people but that's because some people don't have a life and, as this is MY blog,quite frankly I don't give a damn (and I know my friends (who try very hard to understand my strangeness)will be able to sigh and say 'he's off on one again'

Hey look, I've written loads and I haven't said anything yet.

Right let's get down to it.

I have a mind to do some further study (hold the 'mind' comments until the end please) and I've checked out the local college with a view to some part time study.I wanted to avoid purely academic subjects and be a bit more 'hands on' and the course that caught my eye was being run by the school of beauty. Total body massage.
This course insists on a pre-acceptance interview as they apparently find it necessary to filter applications (god knows why).

A few brief facts about the course so that you can all help me out without flying blind.
* it is a 20 week course, 2 hours a week plus a 3 day residential

* numbers are limited to 12 people

* the nature of the course means that some nudity and body contact is necessary

* initial enquiries indicate that the average age of people doing this course is 22

* all applicants are female.

* The education authority has a 'no discrimination' rule

So, this is why I need help, firstly I haven't got a clue what they will ask me in interview, any ideas? and secondly, if you were writing me a reference what would you be saying?

I intend to put this blog entry on Google write and facebook as well as putting links on buzz and twitter so I should reach all four people I know ;)

a further point of information, this isn't serious
but just look at the tags I get to use

in honour of BOOBQUAKE

2010-04-26T20:06:00.000+01:00

A feast of flesh
a man's best dream
a worthy cause
a swelling team
wacky clerics
serious studies
seismic data
and mounds of goodies
willing ladies
ogling men
I hope that
BOOBQUAKE
happens again

remembered promises

2010-04-24T15:17:00.002+01:00

As I drove to Edinburgh last night i think the highlight must have been passing through the Lake District as the sun was setting. So beautiful, majestic and romantic.
It reminded me of a promise I made regarding a special holiday in the Lakes, a promise I fully intend to keep.
Those memories got me through the long journey and provided me with happy dreams when I got home :)

Use Google reader

2010-04-23T14:13:00.002+01:00

I'm not one to 'sell' stuff and I have steadfastly refused to direct my hordes of fans and followers down many a corporate, profit motivated path but no-one has asked me to do this and I'm doing it for my benefit.
If you use Google mail or have a google account you may have noticed google reader (it's at the top of the screen when you are in g mail) I clicked it and tried it and I think it's jolly good. I have feeds from all my favourite blogs going there so it saves me rushing around trying to keep up. I can also follow friends but unfortunately I only have two on there and I want lots of friends. Reader incorporates some fancy statistics s well if you're into that sort of thing.I'm sure it works best if I have a better size friends group because there is a facility to flag up blog entries that you particularly like for you friends to look at. Another way of increasing your readership.

At death's door

2010-04-23T00:09:00.003+01:00

I quite like having my head in the clouds and dreaming dreams but I was brought down to earth with a crash today when I received a reasonably long discourse on just how near death I might be. This was not a medical opinion as such just an interpretation of my heart condition. I know people die from it, I know it's 'other name' is sudden death syndrome, I know there are no guarantees OK.
I just rather not be told about it quite so often because knowing doesn't make any difference.

that darn cloud

2010-04-21T00:30:00.003+01:00

seated firmly as I am in my own little world I have pretty much ignored the cloud of volcanic ash hovering high overhead. After all I'm not planning to travel, no holidays booked. However, my mum and dad were travelling, They were visiting a friend in Bavaria and were due to return yesterday. They phoned to say that they were delayed and expressed concern about not getting back on time but my feeling was that they are staying with a friend and they are both retired so why not enjoy their extended holiday.

Dad rang this morning to tell me that they have booked a flight for Friday night but it is to Edinburgh and they would have a long wait for a train home. Obviously, I offered to collect them and after mild rebuttals they agreed. I'm looking forward to my trip to Edinburgh and told them that I would have collected them from Bavaria :)
What they don't realise is that I meant it because I need an adventure.

News round-up

2010-04-18T01:32:00.003+01:00

Today was the day we said goodbye to the Land Rover, originally belonging to my brother in law the car came to us when he passed away but it has been worked hard and seemed close to joining it's old owner (using the equation: value of car < cost of repairs). We have bought an ancient but venerable (and spacious) Toyota which seems like a good runner.
We have also said goodbye to my older son's bike (aged 4 months) courtesy of
*his trusting nature
*a mystery 'friend'
*an undisclosed number of thieves

A full report of the above 'none details' will be passed to the forces of law and order who will file it with all haste. Search parties will resume in the morning.

heart on sleeve and make believe

2010-04-05T22:57:00.004+01:00

I have always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve, as some readers may know, but anyone who has started reading this recently will not be aware of this because it has been winter here in the northern hemisphere and rather cold. OK, so already people are re-reading that first sentence and wondering just how it makes sense well never mind, we'll come back to that.
One of those facebook fortune tellers gave me some advice earlier. She advised that I discuss my dream with the one I love and there lies the problem or problems. Firstly I have several dreams each night and remember bits of some of them (the good bits) but she may have meant my life dream, my dream future who knows (these fortune tellers get away with a lot by being mystically vague). The second problem is, which one that I love? I love my mum, I love several members of my family, I love some of my friends and I love some more than others. So, is the dream in question the one that really sticks in my mind from last night and if so should i discuss it with my mum (who would no doubt enjoy the level of sexual knowledge\content in my dreams) or with one of my friends who might be surprised\shocked\excited that she starred in my dream.
There again, perhaps I was supposed to discuss my life dream but Mum doesn't need to know yet and the person it concerns already knows. So having said that perhaps it's just as well that I'm not wearing my heart on my sleeve today because that might be a little embarrassing for the 'big crush'.

Oh yes, obviously in winter no-one is aware I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve because I nearly always have my coat on.

out of line

2010-04-01T15:22:00.004+01:00

today I was thinking about straight lines, don't ask me why because I don't know I guess i am just blessed with truly random thoughts and this means I can spend long periods alone without getting bored.
Yes, lines, straight ones, boring ones, not a single kink, not a solitary bend and I like kinky, I like a bit of unexpectedness, a few bobbley bits and one or two random changes of direction. The best thing that can be said about a straight line is that it's quick as in the shortest, the most direct route. I like that it's quick because it's over sooner and I can get back to meandering. Meandering, now that IS good it's full of sexy curves and nice surprises, it's serendipitous and serendipity is precious to me because it has adventure and lots of learning, there are no sharp angles with meandering so no nasty corners to bang yourself on every change of direction is smooth and easy and that's the way i aspire to be.
AS I write the story of my life I want to remember that life shouldn't be a straight line birth--------------------death it should be full of curls and loops, it should be twisted and kinky and most of all it should have a healthy dose of unexpected. Yes the story might have me walking off cliffs but I'm writing the next chapter as well and that's the chapter where the parachute opens or the trampoline comes into view.

Hmmmmmmm, yes, straight lines. Interesting

I promise I won't go on about this

2010-03-28T22:23:00.002+01:00

Life can be very confusing I have found and I, like many others, seek to develop 'life rules' and principles that I can apply to my life to make it more straight forward. One of the big rules for me is that I don't break promises and yes I do fail in this sometimes but I like to think that when I promise something I will make every effort to deliver.
I just believe that 'promise' is used too lightly these days and that this devalues my promise because no-one really believes me when I say I promise I will always.....
The problem is that I make to many promises and I really do get bogged down with them. I promise to attend a function and I will be there even if something better comes along; promise to take the kids somewhere and it will be done even if I'm knackered; promise to be there for someone and I am, always. I believe that a promise lasts until it is fulfilled or until the promisee releases me from my promise.
I can't remember what the point of this blog was now but I promise that if I remember I'll come back and finish it.

the real deal

2010-03-27T18:09:00.003Z

Tonight I shall be at the pub. Not a normal Saturday for a toad but on this occasion I feel justified. Eldest daughter and I are helping out at a fun casino night in aid of a local hospice so I shall be at the tables, probably dealing blackjack, and trying to be charming. I would like to say that I am giving my services free but, the deal has been struck between the organiser and my partner and daughter and there will be a payment. The way i see it is that I won't see the money anyway so I might as well tell the charity to keep the money lol.

crazy toad hits the road

2010-03-26T14:27:00.003Z

that title may be misleading as I didn't hit anything and my sanity isn't an established fact.

However.....

I realise in my odd moments of lucidity that I must appear rather, odd as I bowl along in my bright red library van, singing happily to myself and grinning like a Cheshire cat. I do enjoy my work and further, I enjoy my trip to work, I enjoy driving between stops and I enjoy going home.
travelling gives me chance to smile at more people and, driving is a great occupation for someone who likes to let their mind go wild. I have all my best (not that that's saying much) ideas as I drive and often begin the writing of poems in my head. Often I forget everything if there are customers waiting but these are the perils of the travelling library and no-one said it would be easy. Actually a lot of people say it's easy but don't let word get out.
You would be amazed at the stuff that goes on in my head as I drive (certainly scares me) and often's the time I've found myself grinning, what must my fellow motorists think?

easily amused

2010-03-25T14:56:00.003Z

now this may get a little frightening so don't be afraid to run away.

Today I have been thinking about lap dancing (which means this blog will get more hits than usual)

Now I'm aware, without being vain, that I'm a bit of a sex god but on this occasion I wasn't thinking about performing a lap dance although that isn't a definite no because I do need money and\or appreciation constantly. Oh no, today i was thinking about receiving a lap dance, which I haven't (who has money to spare for these basic needs these days). In actual fact I've only ever been in a lap dance club once. And it was closed. And I was only there to service the sanitary bins. I digress, which may be the safer course, so, i was saying, I was thinking about being the recipient of a lap dance, wondering, I suppose, what it feels like etc etc.
I think I would feel rather uncomfortable, I'm ok with nudity, I've done it, and I'm ok with dancing, I've tried to do it but the whole 'you will perform for me' thing is contrary to my nature and I'm sure I'd be saying 'have a sit down, love, let me do a bit for you.
I mean, you chose a woman who conforms to your idea of beauty\sexiness whatever and then she effectively does the old mating dance right in front of you and gets her kit off AND YOU CAN'T TOUCH! that's not natural (I'm not saying a man has the right to take what he wants from a woman so don't start preaching feminist stuff at me). What I'm saying is that if i (assuming I feel free to seek a partner) see a woman who I think is wonderful and sexy and lovely blah, blah and she likes to discuss poetry and literature and doesn't take life too seriously etc what should i do, should I offer her some money so that she can get me rather uncomfortably turned on then dash off to the toilets to give myself a consolation prize or should I engage her in conversation, dazzle her with my wit, charm her with my gentlemanly manners and then invite her back for coffee and confess that I do have this fantasy as I slip on some sexy music..........

Just to let you know

2010-03-22T14:29:00.002Z

Yesterday My partner requested that I find alternative accomodation for myself (this is the shortened version of events) by the end of this week so I guess I'll start looking. There may be some disruption to my blogging etc.

Don't you just hate genes

2010-03-19T13:45:00.002Z

As you may know My son, Jack was diagnosed with Long Q-T syndrome a while ago and then I was found to have the same gene late last year. As a result of this my parents were tested as were Jacks siblings. Yesterday was results day. We now know that my dad has the gene (and passed it to me) and Rebecca and Sophie also have it. There is supposed to be a 50% chance of inheriting the gene so it appears that maths wasn't god's strong point. Thomas is now the onlt one of my children who hasn't received this special gift from me.

I continue to worry about the effect this condition will have on them all although for myself I just carry on much as I did. The children have all their lives ahead of them and they now have to re-examine their hopes and aspirations. Sophie actually said to the genetacist 'I am not going to change anything, I'm not taking beta-blockers and I'm not slowing down, I will enjoy my life however long it is'
I actually feel the same, I only have one more thing on my list of 'must do' and I'm not going to write it on a public blog (not that it's a great secret).
If you have a god, ask your god\godess to smile on us. If you don't have a deity then feel free to join anyone else who feels like it in smiling because a world full of smiles is bound to be fun.

the secret life of toads

2010-03-18T12:36:00.002Z

I have an admission to make
I like to visit friendship\dating sites.

So am i one of these sleazy old married men who pose as someone else in order to lure young innocents to a terrible fate? well hopefully not!

Just suspend your belief for a moment.Firstly I don't mean the 'sex' sites and I use my real age and marital status and I'm upfront about who I am and the reason I am there. I'm there because I like to say nice things to people (it gives me a buzz) and, if I'm honest I like people to compliment me. My favourite place at the moment is Social me (on Face book) because all I do is tag people with tags such as funny, cute, pretty, drunk. I tend to avoid tags like sexy an hot because that gives the wrong signal.
Normally I don't have any communication but now and again there might be a short chat. Yesterday I tagged someone as cute and she replied that i was cute too. I explained about liking to make people feel good and she agreed that we were both happy to have been affirmed.
Very rarely someone might 'come on' to me but they won't get anywhere because , I am a married man AND heart, soul and body belong to someone special.

A strange dream

2010-03-18T12:23:00.003Z

Last night I had the strangest dream, (argg earworm) actually it was the night before but I'm slow to blog.

As is often the case the details of the dream have eluded me but the overall theme gave e pause for thought.

I dreamed that i was a super hero and throughout the dream I encountered many friends I know from the net and, in each case, sorted out\fixed\made better some issue they were facing. If my memory serves me correctly the issues were all real ones that I am aware those friends have.
The interesting thing was that my power was such that it acted in a covert manner and no-one knew I had done anything except me so, there were no adoring fans or ticker tape parades just a lot of happier people and a happy Tim.

So, it seems to me that this dream was about wish fulfilment, I often wish I could do something to help friends but as i am there is little I can do.Give me the power and this is what i would do, help out those I care about, rescue them from crappy situations, restore broken links, give health etc.

I'm not even sure if you can be a super hero if no-one knows you're doing anything.....

sleepless with some prattle

2010-03-15T09:15:00.003Z

bear with me.
yesterday i went along to watch my daughter, Soph, playing football.Her team only had 9 players so they were under strength and had no subs. Early in the second half Soph did one of her legendary sliding tackles which normally results in the opposing player giving her a wide berth for the rest of the match (if they are still able to walk). They lost the match 7-4 and after a brief stop for coke and chips Soph headed of to the gym and did 3 hours there.

Jump to yesterday evening. Soph complains that her knee is painful but we all think it will be ok (just a slight swelling). At 10 pm She is in a lot of pain so I Offer to take her to the hospital but she doesn't want to make a fuss so she goes to bed. She lies in bed groaning and whimpering and at almost Midnight agrees that she will go to hospital. So leaving my beloved FB, Helium etc I take her. We are equi-distant between two large hospitals so I take her to the quieter one because it Will be quicker. What I didn't consider was that, because it is quieter, it would have less staff so we arrive at 00:10, we are seen for triage at 01:00, by the doctor at 04:00, x-ray at 04:30 and given equipment and pain relief at 06:15.
She has damaged the soft tissue around her knee (she felt it twist when she did the tackle) and is now splinted and on crutches. She should refrain from football and other exercise for perhaps as much as 6 weeks (and considering that she is studying PE and football at college that isn't good. I suggested that it might be a good time to do lots of theory work and almost got a crutch wrapped around my head :)

blah blah

2010-03-13T21:36:00.002Z

just thought I'd drop in and blow off some steam.

Spent a while this afternoon watching my family disintegrating and feeling as though I was watching from the outside. How strange that I felt no real emotion, that I could see all the anger and the vitriol and do nothing but hum quietly to myself. Hey perhaps I've finally lost it!

Moving on to other things I found I had two anonymous replies on my blog today. One, on a post about England's performance in the rugby world cup final (how long ago is that!) saying that the writer disagreed with me and could provide evidence if I just got in touch via PM errrrr, you're anonymous mate! and do i really care, my blog=my opinions. The second 'reply was on my flash 55 yesterday. Bloody spammer, I do not like people using my work to push their crap, my friends don't need it and I don't want it. I do not want to go down the road of checking stuff before it is allowed because I'd rather trust people to be nice (maybe that is my failing)

On a much more positive note , I'm enjoying writing again and just hoping that people aren't getting sick of me pushing my writing down their throats, going back to helium has done me good, I have re-discovered some old friends and made some new ones. Wow, two of my kids are writing on helium now. Jack lied about his age and signed up and Sophie re-activated her old account and has a poem at the number 1 spot (out of 112) which has made me very proud (and, as I introduced her I will earn a little on her success lol)

There, I feel better now, don't be strangers xx

theatre - flash 55

2010-03-13T00:42:00.001Z

A silence fell around the theatre, all eyes on the maestro as he carefully picked up his instrument.
He cleared his throat and moistened his dry lips.
In a state of near zen like calm he turned and scanned those watching him, he broke the silence.
Today I will begin by making a lateral incision……

Flash Fiction - Each Friday, a happy band of talented writers compose a short story of 55 words - no more, no less. If you would like to join in the fun and games... post your story and report to the boss -G-MAN
http://g-man-mrknowitall.blogspot.com/
If you're not interested in contributing a story, feel free to read the other entries. I'm sure any comments you have would be appreciated.

Health (or lack of it) update

2010-02-26T14:01:00.003Z

So, if you are here you obviously want to know how my health is. If you have made a wrong turn or suffered a moments foolishness and ended up here by accident please close your eyes now.

Ah, still here ok then prepare to be bored.

Attended the doctor's this morning and did another fairly simple 'level of depression' test (this is largely a waste of time as I used these for years and know all the right answers to produce a desired outcome). The doctor, the test and I agreed that I'm making progress and that the medication is fine. The plan is that I should remain on the medication for about 6 months and ignore anyone who tells me to stop taking it.
Then we reviewed the medication for my heart. The doctor showed me a letter from my consultant instructing her to increase the dosage. The dose started of low because it slows my heart and I am already bradicardic(sp?).Apparently the plan was to make sure I could tolerate the lower dose before stepping up to a more therapeutic dose. I wonder if they are going to keep uping it out of some sort of morbid interest in how much I can tolerate lol

Loyalty

2010-02-26T11:47:00.003Z

there's a relatively new application on facebook which allows you to write nice things about your friends, the aim is that everyone on facebook will end up with a list of 'what we like' about them which i think is a wonderful idea.
Today one of my friends wrote something about me which made my day and almost reduced me to tears i was so genuinely surprised and touched. One of the things she said was that I was loyal to my friends and that gave me pause because i wondered a. who i class as my friends and b. what does loyalty mean.

I have 350ish 'friends' on facebook and I am trying to sort out what to do with them lol) but real friends? I have perhaps 5 or 6 and they are not all on my friends list even though I met them all through the internet and they are all on facebook. So that is a manageable number and I can be 'loyal' to them lol.
Loyalty, to me, is about accepting people as they are with their bad stuff as well as their good, none of us are perfect (me less than most) but in friendship we accept each other as we are and that is important. Some of my friends I have known for a relatively short time, others for a good few years and amongst the few there are friends who I was almost out of touch with at times but could pick up where we left off. I know that we all need to do stuff we don't like or which we find difficult sometimes and part of my idea of loyalty is to accept that and be there when the time comes to pick up. I very rarely offer a forever to someone but for those few friends that is what they have, for better or worse, they are stuck with me.The nature of our friendship may be fluid but the friendship will always be there because in my small group of friends I have people I can trust, people worthy of my loyalty.
And now I'm rambling lol, see, only a real friend would put up with this.

A different angle on divorce

2010-02-24T23:58:00.003Z

it has been said that to walk away from a marriage is a selfish act (not important who said it) but I wonder.
Is it selfish to assert your own needs after not doing so, is it really selfish to recognise that you have some meaning as an individual? Self isn't a 'bad' thing and making a decision to move on isn't an unfeeling decision.
Look at it this way when you walk away from a partner whether it be of 2 weeks or 20 years it's not about what you are taking away from them so much as how much you have given them throughout your time together. Certainly if it is a long relationship which is approaching closure you have given that partner some of the best years of your life. Selfish? I think not. You deserve something for yourself.

who are you?

2010-02-24T12:22:00.001Z

just read a post on a friend's wall at FB and it made me think.
The poster mentioned that, seeing my friends name, she didn't know who it was because she only knew her by her alias on another web site.
It made me laugh because I do the same thing all the time and looking at friends on facebook I very often don't make connections until much later. Personally I try to use the same alias as much as possible to improve peoples chances of recognising me.
One problem now, finding people who actually want to know me lol

damn you facebook

2010-02-23T17:04:00.002Z

Yes, damn you and double curse you for your trickery and your lies.
You take my life and turn it into a freak show you give me friends and tell me they love me\hate me\want me you tell my future, reveal my past, steal my present........
You let me flirt, propose and play but make my every gambit into a button press every bouquet a click. I've shared your cyber coffee and cake, I've ticked your boxes and sold my soul and for what? enhanced scores and popularity points!
you've put me in a world where people receive gifts daily, expensive flowers, firemen and pets exchange hands constantly and any real gift is pale by comparison. you encourage me to tell friends and strangers that they are nerdish, hot, a ten, a one (I tried this on the bus, the doctor says I should be able to use my arms and legs again some day)
Yes, facebook you have reduced my life to a series of clicks. I hate you
Have to stop now, I can see the notifications building up

Flash 55 - the Ring

2010-02-19T13:17:00.003Z

Their meetings were magical yet, always, one thing hurt her.
She hated that ring, there as a constant reminder that he belonged to another.
Tonight was no different......until he told her he had scratched her name inside. Now they both knew she was ALWAYS with him. The ring a promise to keep her always.

Flash Fiction - Each Friday, This group of flashers compose a short story of 55 words - no more, no less. If you would like to join in the fun and games... post your story and report to the boss -G-MAN (http://g-man-mrknowitall.blogspot.com/) If you're not interested in contributing a story, feel free to read the other entries. I'm sure any comments you have would be appreciated.

Happy Valentines day

2010-02-13T22:53:00.002Z

Valentines day! What a lovely day, full of romance, joy and promises both made and fulfilled. If you are with your true love anyway.

This year I wrote a short verse to try and express my feelings, it's not brilliant but it is from the heart. Then I realised that I really didn't know what to do with it. To send it to it's intended recipient might do more harm that good at the moment and yet not to send it would feel like denial.
So, I put it in a bottle on www.oceangram.com and threw it into the cyber sea. I did this because stating\writing the dream makes it more real for me.
One day she will be able to read what I wrote but somehow I know that she will feel the love that is in my note anyway.

To those of you who are spending this Valentines day with someone special, enjoy. I am happy for you and the happiness and love you feel today will be mine one day soon

I'm a very naughty bookcrosser

2010-02-11T23:04:00.002Z

I've been with bookcrossing about 6/7 years now and I'm not nearly as active as I used to be but what I am about to reveal is beyond bad.

In 2006 a dear friend started a journal complete with a list of friends around the world who wanted to share in the journals journey and add to it. The aim was that, once it was full or had visited all interested people it would return to it originator. I was the first port of call and I found it in a pile of books yesterday.
I have to say it was wonderful to read the entry that had been made and it brought back some wonderful memories and reminded me of a few important 'life lessons'

I feel terrible about this and I intend to e-mail the journals originator and ask whether they want it back or want it sending somewhere else.

Can I really have friends who are NOT on my friends list on Facebook?

2010-02-11T22:49:00.003Z

I use facebook as a background thing and have it on running in the background quite a lot. When I'm bored I tend to trawl the applications and have a play. At the moment I'm using a lot of the applications which ask you for opinions on people from your friend list stuff like Would you hug x; what do you think x is doing now; does x have bad breath etc etc. I came across an application the other day which was slightly different in that it asked stuff like who has made you smile the most; who has had the biggest impact on your life in the past year or who have you been closest too. In each instance I needed to enter the relevant name (in fact it was the same name for all three questions). The problem was that name isn't on my facebook friends list so I'm not allowed to choose it.
So sorry 'Friends exposed' I won't be using you.

Oh and on the subject of these applications if you would rather I didn't answer questions about you just let me know and I'll skip them. Of course then you'll never know if I would kiss you on the lips or cheek, skinny dip with you or make out with you ;0)

I have definately gone 'weird'

2010-02-08T15:47:00.002Z

Oh dear, I've found myself enjoying work and not only enjoying work but wanting to be at work when I'm not. I have always enjoyed this job, how lucky am I!
The news that my colleague will be spending some time away made several people comment that it was going to get very lonely for me but I have my thoughts, my books, my computer and my writing and I really struggle to fit it all in as it is.

Perspective

2010-02-02T17:11:00.003Z

I'm pretty active on facebook and have a friend list that hovers around 350 (not that I really know them all). I notice that the total number changes constantly as I add people or take them off, people will also decide to 'unfriend' me - it happens.
Over the weekend I was catching up with my facebooking when I suddenly realised that someone had 'unfriended' me but the point was that it was one of the people who was very important to me. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not having a go about this person moving out and it in no way changes the love and respect I have for them but I have to admit that my heart sank at that moment.
Literally a minute after my son called me over to see a message on his FB. The message told us that his friend's grandad (a family friend) had died. He had a fast acting cancer and was in his 60. Perspective time. He is gone, his family and friends will not see him again.Ever. My friend has just moved if I ever really need to ask or say something I can find many ways of doing so and the friendship hasn't died, it's just sleeping.I am happy for my friend that they are able to make changes and happy for us both for the good things we have shared.

the blogging future

2010-02-02T15:51:00.004Z

well, I decided on the future of this blog. After considering feedback and carefully analysing the demographics I will be keeping the blog public this is because

a. I have absolutely nothing to hide from the current readers I know of

b. Any random members of the public who wander in can think what they like because they have no influence or part to play in my life

c. If people close to me decide to come and read the blog then they will just have to accept who I am and live with it (or not) their decision.

I am me and from now on when life gives me lemons I will juggle with them (and perhaps throw the odd one at those who deserve it)

could this be it?

2010-01-30T23:05:00.002Z

seems that the new medication is helping without doping me up so fingers crossed I can get back to work.
It's strange how I can measure the effectiveness of treatment by seeing events in my life recognising that I am almost automatically putting a positive spin on it.

I've had a terrible thought though. If my meds are now sorted and my mood is going to stay ok then what the hell am I going to write about?

once more into the breech....

2010-01-26T10:34:00.003Z

Yet another visit to the doctor. It's getting difficult to find meds that I can have! but here we go with another. I stopped taking the one that was knocking me out yesterday and hardly slept a wink all night. The doctor gave me a sick note for a week to give me chance to adapt so we'll see how it goes.
Just one complaint, those other tablets did make me sleep a lot but there was a plus side, I was having rather good dreams (wish I could remember them better because I could probably sell them to Playboy)

More whinging

2010-01-25T13:04:00.004Z

so...... I went back to the doctor and she was very apologetic. I lent her my list of drugs I can't have and she has scanned it into my notes.
The doctor managed to find an anti-depressant that I can have so all seemed well.She did comment on the fact that the new tablet might cause some drowsiness and said I should take it on an evening.

I stopped taking the original tablet and the following day I started the new one. The next thing I knew I was waking up on the sofa. I staggered up stairs to go to bed only to be told that the alarm had just gone off - time to get up!
I went to work but realised that I couldn't possibly drive so, with my manager's agreement I went home. That was a week ago. I am currently sleeping about 17 hours a day and feeling dizzy the rest of the time. Tomorrow I am going back to the doctors. I almost think I'd rather be depressed!

arggggg, get it right!

2010-01-15T23:49:00.003Z

So, i started the anti-depressant and, as expected, it kicked in and I'm starting to feel more positive. The same issues are there and I still need to address them but now when I ponder I am not falling into a bottomless pit of despair but am constructing futures and seeing some positives whilst acknowledging the negatives.
Well that's great!
would be except......
I have now realised that the anti-depressant I am on is not to be given to people with Long QT (the heart condition I have recently found I've always had) because it lengthens the QT gap, which is already too long. This means that I will have to go back to the doctor, tell her that she prescribed the wrong stuff, come off this one and start another so god knows where my head will be.

bear with me lol

don't read this if you hate whingers

2010-01-08T13:10:00.002Z

I'm just going to say this once because once is enough to get it out of my system so please bear with me for a moment.

At the moment I'm losing the struggle with depression and anxiety, I've re-started my medication but they they time to kick in. The truth is I feel like giving in but I am just going to wait, wait for something good to start happening or wait for the end. Just waiting.

(I don't usually tell people when I'm feeling this bad)

I know that I am at a stage where every thought and deed is self destructive and that I have\will destroy the good things in my life so I really need to shut up and let it pass but then I also feel that I need to constantly provide assurances that I do value the good things and that gets counter-productive so.....

Part of me knows that this will pass and I just wonder if there will be anything left when I emerge.

Not liking this

2010-01-04T23:35:00.002Z

I have been decidedly shaky in the emotion department lately so this morning I went to see my doctor. She had a chat with me and has restarted my anti-depressants which I'm feeling pretty crap about. She advised me not to make any big decisions for a while but on my return home I sort of got talked into a corner and ended up sort of revealing my half formed feelings and showing my hand.

I'm feeling shitty at the moment but I still don't know where I'm going so bear with me.

oh and to finish the day nicely I got (admittedly mild) hate mail because I didn't answer someone's message quickly enough!

take heart

2010-01-02T23:39:00.004Z

having not blogged for months I now find myself writing the 3rd blog of the day. Talk about opening flood gates.

On Christmas day I started on the medication that I will probably be on for the rest of my life. It's a beta blocker and it is supposed to stop my heart going into arythmia (because I have been diagnosed with Long Q-T syndrome). When they told me I had this syndrome I actually laughed because it is at it's most dangerousin the teens and can be fatal. So there i was laughing in the face of death. The consultant talked to me about medication, I was goin gto say don't bother but he said there was still a risk and that the medication would reduce this by 50%. Being a coward I went for the longer life option. THEN he says we will have to be careful because I already have a tachycardic sinus rhythm so the medication might make it too slow.
(sorry I'm rambling).
So here I am a week into medication and every day I have a strange sensation in my chest. Unfortunately I have also suffered from anxiety so that muddies the water. he point is suddenly it's not a joke any more and I'm scared.
I have things, important things, I want to do with my life and the reminder that I am mortal worries me. I suddenly feel that I want to rush into things that should take time and that upsets the balance.

Oh well, that's enough of that, I've ranted enough :0)

I'm not really here

2010-01-02T16:42:00.003Z

I haven't blogged for a while (sorry to both my readers, if there are still that many) The reason is that life is getting complicated and I don't really feel I can blog about it all because, as it stands, this blog is a public forum and there are people out there or I don't particularly want to read my blogs.
I now have two choices
1. scrap this blog and just put writing etc on the other one
2. leave it alone and perhaps write the very occasional 'clean' post
3. make this blog private and invite those who I am comfortable with (and who can put up with my whinging)

so oh you legion of followers, tell me what to do

oh and a belated happy new year :0)

xxx

bless their cowardly heart

2009-10-19T13:33:00.002+01:00

I've just received a comment on an old blog which indicates that my son and I are mean. The subject matter was around laughing about a rather wide woman who blocked the aisle at our local supermarket and yes, it probably was mean of me to say stuff but it seems strange to tell me I was wrong by 'name calling' my son and very wrong indeed to do so anonymously.
I am who I am and I'm certainly not perfect in any way but I say what I say openly

A syndrome, no less!

2009-10-15T18:06:00.003+01:00

you may remember last year that I told you my son had been diagnosed with a heart condition called long Q-T syndrome.
Well, the news is that I have found out today that I have it too. It is a hereditary condition and we now have to find out whether it started with me or whether one of my parents has it.
My main concern is for my children as the condition can cause sudden death, they will be tested but it takes a while for the results to come through.
The hospital have given me a long list of drugs i should avoid (I've had quite a few lol) and advised against strenuous exercise (you've got to laugh, I've been a runner for years).
At least now Jack has someone else in the family who he can relate to.

running?

2009-09-21T14:59:00.002+01:00

Having once again managed to finish the great north run I am in a state of great stiffness but feeling pleased with myself.
People often ask me how I achieve such commendable style and speed in my running (well, ok they don't but they could if they wanted to).
It's all down to a lifetime of living life on the edge and never having a moment to spare. I don't actually run at all, what i do is fall continually and constantly manage to get a leg out in time to save me from complete collapse.
But seriously, The run (and others like it) at a great social occasion and I always meet and chat with some great and inspirational characters from the teams running for a massive charity to the individual running to give themselves an achievement or to show the world that they are not beaten.
It was never truer that it isn't about winning, it's about taking part.

give a little whistle

2009-09-12T11:36:00.003+01:00

Just the other day, whilst enjoying some very un-British sun, I got wolf whistled!
The whistler then shouted that I had nice legs lol.
Now, OK. this was all a joke, probably a dare but it made me feel good.
No big deal to many of my friends because I'm sure they are frequently desired but (and this is how genuinely sad I am)I haven't been wolf whistled since 1996 (it was October on Headingley Lane in Leeds at about 16:30 for some reason I don't recall the day).
I felt good for two reasons.
1. in the pretend area of my brain someone noticed and liked what they saw
2. By parading around in my shorts I brought a little fun into someones day.

I thanked the young lady and proceeded with my day a happier person (see it takes very little to make me happy)

Big brother wants me to relax

2009-09-04T13:39:00.003+01:00

I suppose I always thought the government was a bit faceless but I'm now starting to think big brother is indeed watching me and that my benign big brother is concerned about me overdoing it in the work department.

I have spent the last year or so trying to do as much over time as possible in order to pay the bills and buy important stuff (like food and clothes) for the kids.
Unfortunately my hard work has pushed my earnings over the qualification bar for tax credits (a government payment to people on a low income) and, I now find that our household income is £12 A YEAR over the maximum income for two of the girls to get full Educational maintainance allowance (paid to young people 16 -19 who stay in education if the household income is low). The net result then of our hard work is:
Approx gain in income = £1200
Approx loss in income = £5400

The message from Big brother is clear

'don't work to hard, take it easy, we will look after you'

so thank you big brother!

oh, just one problem, we have to get through this year without the government help and make sure our income is low because the benefits ar ebased on the previous tax year

Stalkers?

2009-09-03T14:32:00.004+01:00

those who know me will confirm that stalking is a thing close to my cold, amphibian heart.
I leapt at the chance to use this facebook application http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fapps.facebook.com%2Fstalkercheck%2F&h=30724749cf8123699d1370ef92c78c7f which tells me who my biggest stalkers are, I'm not sure it's entirely accurate because it works from interactions and excludes page views (you know when you sit for hours just staring at someone's profile picture) and it doesn't include private messages (100 a day just to say I think you're wonderful). It also enables me to see who is 'stalking' my friends but as it needs their permission to access their data I believe that even less.

Anyway,due to the above, I'm not sure it's really about stalking but I do think it gives some indication of who actually interacts with me and it also shows (and I intend no disrespect to Geri who has held the #1 spot on my list for a while) who has to much time on their hands to hang around on facebook

tell me more

2009-09-02T10:04:00.002+01:00

You may (or may not) have noticed that I have a feed from Twitter in my side bar. If you have noticed this then you will also have noticed that some of the tweets make very little sense. I am putting a link to this post below the tweet feed so that people can come straight here if they want to know more about any of my tweets or ask me questions.

lasting love

2009-09-01T17:01:00.003+01:00

at the library we give out a free paper called the Mature Times aimed at our slightly older customers.
Here is a copy of an appeal from the latest edition from a Mrs Kathleen Adcock (nee Ainsworth)

"During the war I fell in love with a young man called Stanley Wild and he fell in love with me. He asked me to marry him and I said 'yes' with all my heart. But then his letters to me stopped. I discovered that my grandmother, with whom I lived, had kept them. She didn't want me to move to London away from her. It broke my heart.

I lost touch with him - and ever since I have carried a burden. I wanted to explain to him what happened. I am now in my early 80's and he would be several years older than me. But I do so want to tell him 'sorry' can any readers help me? [a picture is inserted in the article but i can't show it here].
I know he was in the royal engineers and lived just south of the river in London".

I felt that this story deserved a wide readership and who knows, someone might know something so please link to this so that lots of people see it and if you do know something e-mail admin@maturetimes.co.uk

As I was saying to enter celebrity name just this morning

2009-08-20T14:11:00.003+01:00

I recently started twittering and was intrigued by being able to follow one's favourite celebrity and see what they are up to. It's sort of legalised stalking.
Being conscious of the amount of time I already spend on line and not wanting to be deluged by updates I never actually started following many people but a few days ago i tried it and, because a friend was already following her, I began to follow Lily Allen, the singer (joining the other 1.2 million) who I do actually enjoy listening to.
So now I can say things like 'I told Lily (Allen) what I thought of her new song' or '......well, as I said to Lily this morning.......'
Looking through people who replied to one of her tweets this morning 12,500 people viewed it in the first hour with various comments (some friendly, some weird, some pointless)but what struck me was the easy familiarity of people, almost as though all these people really are friends with Ms Allen.I wondered how many actually 'believe' they have her as a friend. I have no way of knowing what it feels like to be a celebrity but I'm not sure if I would want this constant attention, some? yes and perhaps lots at first but it really is a bit creepy and I think I will continue to admire her from afar

and for those of you who value grammar

2009-08-20T13:47:00.004+01:00

I read yesterday about a man who is protesting about falling standards in grammar by painting apostrophes on the signs at the end of his street there-by changing St Johns Close into St John's Close.
This is all well and good and I do applaud his stand but I hope he has fully considered and researched the issue before acting as his alteration raises some important questions. There are several St Johns and it may be that they own the close collectively in which case that apostrophe is in the wrong place. If, indeed, the close does belong to only one of the many St Johns can ownership be proven? and do the residents need to check their deeds and perhaps pay any rent arrears which may have accrued?

Finally, I wonder how long it will be before someone writes underneath .........but he's not here yet.

The English abroad (part 1 of a few)

2009-08-18T17:10:00.003+01:00

Being english we are aware that we speak the same language as all the gods etc. We also possess the only worthwhile culture. As to culinary knowledge and expertise? well England has it all. Consider, if you will the following tale.

On arrival in Brittany (France) some of our party drove to the nearest town and bought supplies. Amongst those supplies were about 6 1 litre bottles of Lait Ribot. Elementary french class lait = milk, great!

First bottle is opened, added to tea and curdles, second bottle is opened and declared 'off' bottles 3,4,5 and six follow. I look carefully at the labelling and see that it says something about fermente but am out voted and sent back to the shop where my friend and I tell the young lady repeatedly that the milk is bad, IT'S BAD, le lait est mal etc. She refunds the money for the 6 opened bottles and we buy some sterilized milk.

I tried to research lait ribot but only found a brief mention in a cookery book about drinking it with crepes.
It was only when I got home and googled that I found that this regional delicacy is a fermented milk which is traditionally drunk with crepes.

You lack commitment

2009-08-18T00:27:00.002+01:00

I am very disappointed in my friends.
as you know we arrived back in England this morning after an absence of 2 weeks. The kids and I shuffled off to the shops to get in some milk, bread etc. As we walked past a parade of shops my son was mobbed, yes MOBBED by a brace of young ladies hugging him and declaring how much they had missed him.

I'm back too (hint hint)

You people really should show more enthusiasm ;-)

I have returned

2009-08-17T13:03:00.002+01:00

Have just got back from France and, no doubt, there will be tales to tell but, for now, bear with me (or in the case of some people bare with me, because I have a lot of catching up to do.
I will work my way through everything as fast as I can, which isn't very fast.

I have missed you folks

xxx

A transport of delight

2009-07-23T14:39:00.003+01:00

I would like to thank my local bus company ARRIVA (Yorkshire) for their foresight and consideration, it's not often a large, public service company is able to see 'outside the box'
ARRIVA have done me the great service of cutting the number of buses from the nearest major town to my home from 3 services to 1 service. This has also meant a reduction in the frequency of buses.
So, why am I thanking them?
When I finish work I now have a choice of positive, life enhancing options. I can wait 55 minutes for the next bus which means I have 55 minutes of time with which to play. I could read (provided the wind and rain don't destroy my book) or I could write more poetry (possibly around the theme of standing alone at a bus stop getting cold). I could even meditate and achieve a much enhanced karmic level.
If I don't wish to take the 55 minutes option i can wait a mere 25 minutes and catch a bus which goes in my general direction. Taking this option will enable me to walk a couple of miles and enhance my general and cardio-vascular fitness.

a great man

2009-07-19T21:51:00.003+01:00

Tomorrow I will be attending the funeral of my uncle Jack. He died about two years ago but, in accordance with his wishes, his body was used for medical research and the donor programme.
Within hours of his death his cornea had given someone their sight, he would've loved that.
Having cared for his wife, who was crippled with arthritis until 1979 he then dedicated the rest of his life to helping those in need. He was a well known and popular figure around the area (not least because he seemed to be related to every second person)and his diet of cheese was the bane of many a restaurant. He was virtually t-total and no-one ever said his refusal to drink made him less of a man (correction, no one ever said that twice).
Fiercely loyal to his family and a great friend he was the epitome of a true Yorkshire man.
We held a celebration of his full and wonderful life at the time of his death so tomorrow will be a quiet(ish) cremation and his ashes will be split into three; some to be scattered at Myddelton Lodge in Ilkley which was a retreat centre and a place he dearly loved; some to be scattered on the rose garden where his beloved Vera's ashes were scattered and the final ashes to be scattered in Lourdes where he made pilgrimage and worked for the benefit of his fellow pilgrims every year until he died.

fate's hand

2009-07-18T10:43:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I had the choice of doing my own route on the mobile library or covering a route I've never done before which I knew would be a challenge but would involve a lot of frustration due to the disorganisation of that particular van.
I took the challenge and, by lunch time, I was tearing my hair out.
I arrived at the last stop just wishing the day was over.Suddenly i heard a voice say my name and , looking up, I saw a face from the past. A very dear friend with whom I had lost touch. We had a good hour's chat (between serving customers) and I have got her number. I'm a happy toad now

Yay! we're rich!

2009-07-13T16:48:00.002+01:00

I just have to share this with everyone. I'M RICH, I'm wealthy, I'm minted.........
at least that's what the government say.

We have been receiving tax benefits for a while because our household income was low but the good news is that last year we became wealthy so our tax benefit has dropped by £100 per week. We have never had surplus money and we still have 5 children to cater for but hey......

The irony is that if Jacqueline gave up her part time job we would get the benefit again and the amount of benefit is more than she earns so figure that out.

Mmmmmmm, that felt nice

2009-07-13T16:40:00.003+01:00

I attended a party with my partner last Saturday. The party was to celebrate the 40th birthday of an old friend of her's and his wife. Most of the people there new each other and I had been sort of dreading the event and being 'out on a limb'.
Those who know me will know that , beneath the bluster, I am a shy, socially inadequate person, some people think I'm rude but I'm just not good in social situations.
I'm here to say that I really enjoyed the party, yes there were moments when I was a lost soul but Jacqueline's friends were so nice to me and they made me feel really at ease.
Thank you guys, you probably don't realise how much good you did.

Narcistic? perhaps (but it makes me feel good)

2009-07-06T10:12:00.003+01:00

I last applied for a passport back in 1991 and when it expired I never bothered to re-new as I wasn't likely to be travelling abroad.
This year the family are holidaying in France so I needed a passport.
The application form states that, if you have had a passport your applcation and photograph do not need to be countersigned IF YOU ARE RECOGNISABLY THE SAME PERSON AS PICTURED IN YOUR PREVIOUS PASSPORT.
I took a chance and sent my application off.
The verdict, the passport and identity people don't think I've changed much in the last 18 years

YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! I'm still 29 (or did I look 47 back then?)

wet and wild (pt 2)

2009-06-15T14:02:00.002+01:00

It's hard to believe that England is a country blessed with abundant rainfall. Over the last hour there hads been very heavy rain and already roads are flooding and the pressure of the water in the drains is either forcing the manhole covers off or creating lovely little fountains through any available gap.

Oh yeah and this library van leaks lol

wet and wild (pt 1)

2009-06-15T13:56:00.003+01:00

Yay! I did it (well actually we did it as it was very much a team effort).I'm sure the sight of 6 grown men\overgrown boys trying to master the complexities of a rowing boat entertained a few people. That said we did the actual rowing in 2 hours 40 minutes and the half time drinks in 40 minutes.
It was great fun and when one of the others gets round to posting some pictures I'll be sure to pass them on.
Plans are already afoot for next year when we might try the 22 mile course and will try to enter a couple of boats. Bro and I (and probably the others) would like to make this an annual event!

row row row your boat

2009-06-13T10:46:00.003+01:00

The time is nigh, gulp.
in 24 hours I'll be on lake Windermere in the process of rowing 10 miles.

It's just a pity I didn't get any training in.
So this will be either a massive work out or a total disaster.
Wish me luck (and if you haven't sponsored me yet click the link in the side bar --->

deeply honoured!

2009-06-02T23:18:00.003+01:00

tomorrow I am taking our brand new library van to meet the city councillors with the possibility of a 'photo opportunity'
I will be parked in the public square in front of the civic building while the worthy city fathers and mothers view their latest acquisition.
Once they have viewed the van I will set off to take it to Nottingham where it will have it's lovely colourful livery put on. I'm looking forward to reviving the ToadSmiles campaign.

I have pondered over why the council want to see the van before it is identifiable as a Leeds Library Van rather than meeting the van after the livery is applied.

Training so far

2009-05-20T12:47:00.001+01:00

oh poo, I really should start!
I would really appreciate so suggestions for my training regime.
About three weeks to go

Positive feedback

2009-05-20T12:41:00.003+01:00

working for a local council I find that there is a great preoccupation with customer surveys and feedback but by the time it's all processed and made PC it is so dry and boring.
Yesterday was a quiet day but at one stop a young customer came to browse (and to stop me getting bored, she said). She wanted books on ferrets which I couldn't provide off the shelf so as she was leaving I apologised for being useless. Her response? Yeah but you're funny, friendly and great at giving away books.

Now that's the kind of feedback I like to hear

What have I done!

2009-05-14T13:49:00.002+01:00

I have always been a keen runner. I'm not a great runner but I can do it and I enjoy the challenge. So, when I needed to do some fund raising the solution was obvious......rowing ROWING!!!!!
Yes, I am taking part in a 10 mile row for charity (St Gemma's hospice provided support and care for those people in the final stages of terminal illness).
I am not an experienced rower and the event is one month from today so prepared to be bored by my training tedium.

Oh, and please click the link in my side bar and sponsor me if you are able.

heartbreak

2009-05-06T12:35:00.002+01:00

Young Jack came to lie on our bed with us the other morning and told us that he is looking forward to being a grandad which is pretty advanced planning for an 8 year old.
Although he knows that he has Long QT syndrome he doesn't know yet that medical advice is for him not to have children.......

Birthdays and positive spin

2009-05-01T13:45:00.003+01:00

Today we have two birthdays in da house. Lauren, my niece, is 16 and Jack, the youngest,is 8. There will be a select gathering this evening to mark the occasion.

One of Jack's presents is a power rangers chair and he is really pleased with it and commented that we were really lucky to get a Power Rangers Mystic Force chair because all the new ones are Power Rangers Jungle Fury

Bleeder

2009-05-01T13:31:00.003+01:00

Whilst at the hospital yesterday I had to provide a blood sample. Let me make it clear that I believe anyone who says they like giving blood is missing several brain cells. I am also a coward.
Wife and I enter the room of doom and I am elected to go first. I admit to the phlebotomiser that i am none to keen on people stabbing me and she says she understands and would I like to lie down. I elect to sit so as not to be a complete wimp. The nice lady then says she has a 'magic spray' which will numb my arm and wold i like some. My wife (a phlebotomist herself) is sat across the room pulling faces and shaking her head vigorously so I vacillate my need for pain free procedure at war with the instructions from my great leader. The nurse decides to spray me and the procedure is soon done BUT I DID FEEL IT!

But hey, I got a sticker for being brave

Genetic counselling

2009-05-01T13:00:00.011+01:00

Some people may remember me saying that my son Jack had been diagnosed with long Q-T syndrome.
Yesterday we went to see the geneticist to find out whether he had a 'Long Q-T' gene; he does.
The next stage was for Jacqueline and I to have repeat ECG and to give blood for genetic testing. Rebecca, our eldest daughter happened to be with us so she had an ECG too.
We sat in a room with the doctor as he gave us our results. Rebecca, you have a good trace, no problem there. Jacqueline, hmmmmmmmm, a little slow, you're in the grey area. Tim, this is where I worry you, you have a slower trace, this doesn't mean you have the condition but if I asked a group of heart specialists who had passed it to Jack you would be the favourite.
Our blood tests will be back in a few months. Two negative means it's just Jack, one\two positives mean tests for all our children and possible tests for our parents. I'll keep you posted.

The legend that was Bob Dylan

2009-04-29T12:27:00.002+01:00

I went to see Bob in concert last Friday and came away feeling rather sad.
Some artistes continue to perform well into old age and still entertain but not so Bob Dylan. My over-all memory of this concert will be of an old man with a towering reputation which he tried, without success, to maintain.I wondered at one point why he wasn't doing any of his mega hits and then realised he was but they were unrecognisable.

I wish he had retired gracefully.