Don't judge me

Everywhere I look, at work, around the area I live, on social media, I am constantly reminded not to judge others as to do so is discrimination and for a long time I've been uncomfortable with the whole concept.
I want to say here and now that I DO judge. I judge politics, i judge what people do, how they act and how they look. I believe that it's human nature and my guess is that most people are the same.
we are given 'judgement' for a reason we judge the safety of a situation, we judge the merits of a job, a relationship or a person. We use our life experience to calculate the likelihood of a person liking us, helping us, mugging us or stealing from us.Gosh, I even judge whether a person is attractive (imo), intelligent or overweight.
In employment the workforce has been dumbed down by not allowing managers to exercise the judgement they are paid to have. Most interviews I have attended in the last decade could've been conducted by a computer and I have lost count of the number of ways in which an applicant can 'learn' how to get a job (without necessarily having the skills required).
Yes, I fully understand that some sectors of society have been discriminated against (and still are) but to give someone a job because they tick the right race/gender/sexuality box is wrong and is a wonderful disincentive to learning.
By all means have laws to protect those who are discriminated against but don't let them get to the stage where they are abused and make fools of us all.
I am human, I am made up of negatives and positives, I expect to be judged and i would appreciate it if that judgement is honest and up front.

the business of banking

Every time I go into my bank they tell me that their interest rates on loans are 'best ever' and that, as a valued customer, they would love me to talk to them about some borrowing.
So, at the moment things are tight finacially and, to be honest, we have beem struggling to keep our heads above water since I had to leave my job through ill health and take on a lower paid one.
We arranged an appointment and explained to the very pleasant, helpful young man that we wanted to consolidate our existing loan and a number of credit and store cards whose interest rates were crippling us. He was optomistic that something could be sorted out and said he would discuss the best way forward with his manager. Later he called me to say they wanted to look at new lending to cover the existing loan and all but one credit card. I agreed and it was sent on to the lending services department.
I have just received a call from our helpful chap who apologised that, although he and his manager could see the benefit of restructuring, lending services had said no.
We would get a yes if we didn't use our overdraft all the time and if WE hadn't decided to stop using my main credit card.
Apparently this is all about the banks duty of care to us but I'm at a loss to see how as the restructuring would clear most debts and would cost us less per month.

It seems that if we were in a position where we didn't need to use our overdraft and if we were using a wallet full of credit cards then we could borrow money but of course if that were the case we wouldn't need to!

It was obvious from talking to the man at the bank that all the people involved wanted to lend us the money but the very clever computer said no.

So why is it that when it comes to lending a long term customer a few grand experienced bank managers aren't allowed to make a decision but when we are talking about millions gambled on the stock market any boy with a suit and a GCSE from a 'good' school can play?

if you've got your hands full I'll hold that grudge for you......

well maybe i won't, truth is I'm not very good at holding things (I think the only thing I hold well is secrets).

You know how it is with grudges, when you first get them they are all hot and steamy, a veritable hotpot of fresh, wholesome ingredients. You can't always identify all the ingredients and, truth be told, it's not always possible to say what meat is but you WANT it and you anticipate enjoying it.

Oh dear, I seem to be drifting off into food heaven.

So, grudges. There have been a number of times when people have badly hurt me, things like false lovers, false friends, bad neighbours and bad employers. At the time I spent a great deal of time plotting my revenge (well I am a scorpio) and I do have information which could severely hurt some of these people.
But today I find myself thinking 'what the hell' trust Karma and take control of life because none of these people matter.Whoops, I've dropped another grudge!

Actually, I only wrote this because I said good morning to a neigbour as I left the house for work and her grunt was so reluctant and full of ill grace that I laughed all the way to the bus stop.

Now, about that hotpot...........

The Good, the Bad and the ......'you didn't!'...........did you?

Last Saturday I, along with my family, attended a charity ceilidh which was the culmination of my youngest brothers fundraising for 5 charities close to his heart. The event was to present cheques to the charities for the money raised when he completed the Marathon des Sables.


Anyway, it was a good night and more money was raised, people had fun and the odd face from the past popped up....ah, yes, the faces from the past.
When i arrived I was surprised to see that the barmaid was an ex girlfriend of mine but these things happen, Leeds is a big city but we have been bouncing around it for a quarter of a century since we parted ways and chance encounters happen. Moments later I look across the room and there is another of my ex's........ I now start looking around for hidden cameras and t.v etc. two in one night? this is getting weird. I was just in the middle of confiding in my son when who should I spot across the not very crowded room but ex number 3!

Friends told me, during the evening that ex's #4 and #5 were originally attending but had been unable to make it :o)

I was pleased to see one but fairly horrified to see one of the others for reasons only a few of my close long term friends will understand.
Because there is a possibility that one of the ladies mentioned could read this I wish to clarify that the title of this blog item refers to my state of mind and not to personal attributes.

A dry run - starring the man with no brain

Here is a tragic tale which reflects life in Britain in the 21st century and the falling level of ability and intelligence in staff at our supermarkets.

Last weekend we celebrated my daughters 19th birthday and, she decided she would have a barbecue in the garden. With this in mind she went to our local supermarket, a branch of Morrisons. Because there was a lot of shopping she was accompanied by her boyfriend (aged 19) and her sister and cousin (both 17). As they began to place cases of beer in their trolley they were approached by the security guard who told them that they could not purchase alcohol and must take it out of the trolley. Both my daughter and her boyfriend showed proof of their age but were told that they could be buying alcohol for the under age people with them. To save argument my daughter asked if it would be ok if her dad came down and bought the beer and was told that this would be fine. I arrived and we began to re-load the trolley watched by the security man who then decided to tell me that I would not, in fact, be able to buy the booze. He began to speak to my daughter's boyfriend in a confrontative and belittling manner and I asked him to stop, explaining that to refer to an adult male as 'boy' was not good customer relations. A manager approached and explained that he couldn't serve me as I was associated with my daughter who might have been buying alcohol for under age drinkers. I explained that I was indeed buying alcohol for my daughter as it was her 19th birthday and that I was quite prepared to admit to being associated with all my children, 3 of whom are currently 'under age'
We left having told them that we would shop elsewhere. As we left we were told that two other people had just been refused service because they had been seen talking to people who looked under 18.


A supermarket has the right to refuse to serve anyone but they should also have the right to employ people with brains and should provide adequate training regarding retail law. A shop can be prosecuted for selling alcohol to someone under 18 and to this end many challenge anyone who looks under 25. If I buy alcohol on behalf of someone under 18 I  can be prosecuted not  the supermarket.  Further to this, if I buy alcohol I can legally allow my 17 year old daughter or niece to drink within my property.
Morrisons supermarket wants to take control where they have none and where they may well end up having fewer customers

Forget me errrrrrr thingy

I've never been good with my memory but just lately it seems worse and I'm acutely aware that I get midway through saying something and then realise I've forgotten a key point which is a bit embarrassing. My conversation is full of errrrs and thingies and awkward moments and it must seem so insulting when I can never remember someone's name.

I'm sure there was a reason for me bringing this up but it seems to have eluded me but it was something about the value of memories and how, as a person who lives in the past, I hate the idea of forgetting. I would like to record as much of my memory and my thoughts and feelings but sadly I suffer from terminal laziness and anyway, whenever I make a decision to do something about it I forget to get started.

Thought for the day: errrrrrr, hold on, it's on the tip of my tongue

rare friends

Today, being the first Monday of May, was the May bank holiday and so I headed off to check out the May day celebrations. Where I live we have a pleasant enough day with a small fairground, dancing (traditional and modern) and displays of country craft etc. Amongst the stalls this year was one from a local farm promoting and selling their meat products, I tasted some samples and they were rather splendid but reading the info and ingredients raised some questions which led to me musing deeply on and off throughout the day.
'Made from our own rare breed pigs'  ok, does this taste better\different and why, if the poor pigs are already rare, are we eating them? Is this what happened to the dodo? did some entrepreneur see a gap in the game market and fill it? did this mystery business guru increase the price as the breed got rarer and retire on the fabulous price he\she got for the last of breed? We may never know.
'All our animals are hand reared' This conjured up visions of orphan lambs and children's pets, of petting zoos and lifelong friendship. I love my friends but I wouldn't eat most of them.
The labels also had a 'killed on' date to ensure freshness so all in all the only bit of information missing was the name of my sausage\burger and perhaps it's star sign and favourite flower