Showing posts with label nekkid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nekkid. Show all posts

Thursday, 30 August 2007

The nekkid toad (big in plastic)

I posted this a few weeks back but I want people to read it so I'm re-posting it! I was hoping this would be the first in a new line to challenge that bimbo Barbie.Of course there is a desperate need for more specialized Toadee dolls and in the spirit of the moment I approached a major manufacturer to suggest a nekkid Toadee doll.Here is a short except from the discussion which may help you to understand why the nekkid Toadee isn't going into production just yet.

T = Toadee
CE = Chief executive

T: I really think this could work, Ken made it big, why not Toadee?

CE: I have to say we have looked very carefully at your proposal and there are some issues.

T: Issues? ok, lets get them on the table

CE: ah, well I'm not sure we should be putting these issues on the table

T: sorry you've lost me

CE :(sotto voce) I wishCE: well the thing is, ken was, well, lacking in certain areas

T: ?

CE: he was well, not all Barbie might have hoped for, a disappointment, not all there, less than a whole man.

T: ah, got ya, but that needn't be a problem here, The toadee doll must be 100% realistic.

CE: that IS the problem

T: no, don't tell me, if you were to add the bits Ken don't have AND be realistic the cost of the extra plastic would be too high. Am I right or am I right?

CE: can I be blunt? thank you. The thing is we have spent a lot of money making scale models and market testing. The model we used was 100% accurate everything was in the proportions found on a real toadee.

T: woohoo, world plastic shortage? fainting ladies? massive fan club?

CE: actually none of the above

T: so what's the problem?

CE: we showed the Nekkid Toadee doll to 100 people
10% laughed
10% Cried
50% said that we should add something down below
20% couldn't see any difference between the Nekkid Toadee and a naked Ken
and 10% offered money for the specialist surgery for whoever the doll was based on.

so that's why you won't be getting a nekkid toadee doll in your stocking next Christmas.

Of course this is all a work of fiction (or is it?)