ten minutes of my life

Dad, carry the laundry up stairs
Dad, come down here, I need to show you something
Dad, bring Jack's medicine up
Dad, get me a clean towel form up stairs

at leaat I'm getting some exercise

I like poetry!

I do, I really do but it took me a lot of courage to say so because as soon as I say that I like it people expect me to be sort of knowledgeable and I'm not.
I can't quote poets, i haven't got a clue about poetic form, I can't discuss it in an academic manner.

When i say I like poetry I mean I like how it feels, what it does to me (and sometimes for me) I can read or hear a piece and feel it so much and I don't care whether it's true to form or written in the poets 'striped cheetah' period, whether it's 'famous' or whether it's someones only ever attempt (and yes, I do think that everyone has poetry within them).

I like writing poetry as well, sometimes I'm silly, or sad, sometimes I'm awesome or bad but it really doesn't matter because it's my poetry, my life, my feelings and as a sort of human being I do have many facets.
Whenever someone shows me a poem that they have written I remember that it is an extension of themselves and \I am privileged to be allowed that glimpse

slap me with a rancid fish and call me a fool

I'm not a happy bunny at the moment because my job, which i love, is under threat.
Now it may not be a massive threat but I'm not a massively tough person.
I have been working on the mobile library for almost exactly three years and have been on a series of temp contracts which have got shorter and shorter. Whenever I have expressed my concern i have been re-assured that, when the council sorts out it's current reviews and housekeeping my contract would be made permanent but for the present they couldn't create or renew ANY permanent contracts.
Fool that I am it never clicked that, in a recent reorganisation they had done exactly that!
So.......last Friday we had a meeting and were asked to talk about any issues we might have and i mentioned temp contracts on behalf of myself and two others. Senior manager tells us that the time is approaching when out jobs will be made permanent (big smiles) and that when they are we can apply for them (big smiles disappear).
I spend the rest of the day feeling very down.
Now most people don't like what is happening and lots of people have said to me 'don't worry, you have the experience etc you will get the job' and yes, that SHOULD be the case and I should be supremely unfazed but let's just examine the recent history regarding my post.
The first time i applied I didn't get the job, it was given to someone who was unable\unwilling to take up the post due to the nature of his criminal history.
The time before the post was given to someone who didn't have a licence to drive the library vans

so why am i afraid to trust the system?

doing something different

I suppose there is a message there for me when I walk into my local chinese takeaway and my order is written before I manage to open my mouth. Yes, I'm getting predictable, boring, stuck in a rut perhaps I need to do something about it...........I have plans lol

One person who made sure she wasn't boring this week was Sally Bercow, the wife of the speaker of the house of commons who did a bit of a photo shoot and gave an interview this week. Pictured by the window of their apartment wrapped in a sheet she admitted that she loved the idea of having sex under big ben and that power was an aphrodisiac.
being married to one of the most powerful men in Britain she (or he) is very lucky because she must be constantly horny.
It seems that she is required to apologise for her indiscretion but I'm not really sure what she is apologising for; is it that she admits to having sex with her husband rather than random strangers, or that she likes being around power, perhaps it's that she is proud of her body (quite justifiably in my opinion) or that she has a sense of humour.......
I want it on record that I don't require an apology. If she were an elected minister or public servant I would be voting for her because it seems to me she might be the only honest person inside the palace of Westminster

don't sit here

One of the blessings (and curses) of modern technology is the speed with which information travels. Occasionally I will see a status update or tweet from someone along the lines of 'fat smelly guy approaching, hope he doesn't sit next to me'
or 'weirdo sat next to me trying to talk to me, help!' These sort of messages are invariably from youngish females.
So now I wonder, when I get on a crowded bus, is she frantically texting that she hopes I don't sit near her?; is she dissing me to her friends?.

It's not only females who have these thoughts though, I know I do. There are certain people on my morning bus ride who I pray won't sit next to me (and one or two I hope will) Usually it's a decision made on size or odour, I'm not a massive person but the bus seats aren't over generous and I hate being squashed.
It's interesting to watch the body language though, how people shuffle either across a seat or squash into the side to make the vacancy either appealing or virtually non-existent. The old guy ,spread legs pose takes up loads of room even if the user looks like they have a serious hydrocele or ill fitting pants. Bags are great for taking space and once or twice I have either sat on someones bag or politely asked them to move it.

pulled up short

(and that isn't a reference to my impressive stature)

I had the undeniable pleasure of chatting with a old (as in long term) and dear friend today,the kind of friend who is on the same wavelength and who I could probably tell my deep, dark, dirty secrets to (if I had any).It made me stop and think and did several things to me
1. It made me incredibly happy
2. It made me incredibly guilty (for losing contact)
3. It made me happy to be alive
4. It inspired me (but to do what I'm not yet sure)

Real friends are forever and I'm blessed with the ones I have those I've met and those I've yet to meet.

what, no friends

A couple of days ago one of my daughters, in the heat of an arguement, told me that I spent all my time on the internet and that I didn't have any real friends, just internet ones.
To a large extent she is right in that I don't have friends who I meet with and stuff but I do take issue with her making internet and real friend mutually exclusive.
I have known some of my internet friends for about 7 years now and they probably know things about me that no-one else does. If I was looking for someone I could trust then I think (with very few exceptions) I would be looking to the computer.
I'm not saying that I have a lot of internet friends in the real sense but there are a few I know well and have done for quite a while and others who I have met more recently but are showing promise. I used to give my trust easily but I think I am wiser now and certainly more vulnerable so I proceed with caution and only a handful of people in this world know the real me.