Saturday, 2 January 2010

take heart

having not blogged for months I now find myself writing the 3rd blog of the day. Talk about opening flood gates.

On Christmas day I started on the medication that I will probably be on for the rest of my life. It's a beta blocker and it is supposed to stop my heart going into arythmia (because I have been diagnosed with Long Q-T syndrome). When they told me I had this syndrome I actually laughed because it is at it's most dangerousin the teens and can be fatal. So there i was laughing in the face of death. The consultant talked to me about medication, I was goin gto say don't bother but he said there was still a risk and that the medication would reduce this by 50%. Being a coward I went for the longer life option. THEN he says we will have to be careful because I already have a tachycardic sinus rhythm so the medication might make it too slow.
(sorry I'm rambling).
So here I am a week into medication and every day I have a strange sensation in my chest. Unfortunately I have also suffered from anxiety so that muddies the water. he point is suddenly it's not a joke any more and I'm scared.
I have things, important things, I want to do with my life and the reminder that I am mortal worries me. I suddenly feel that I want to rush into things that should take time and that upsets the balance.

Oh well, that's enough of that, I've ranted enough :0)


Angela said...

I'm not surprised you're scared. It's always a shock to be reminded that we're mortal. But I'm sure (and sending good vibes) that you'll be around for a good long time yet. *hugs*

Jesse TheCat ! said...

Wow...had no idea you had this to deal with, I had the impression that you are quite the sporty guy,healthy type,so I am sure that while this news shocked you,its not the end of the world. Because you have been quite fit all along,I am sure that your body can cope with this new challenge and hey,thats what it is.A new year, a new challenge...and with the support of your loved ones that side, you will go far,my friend.And as you mentioned,it was a shock so its time to live your life in the way you always dreamed of doing...we all of us only have so much time,we have to keep reminding one another to live life authentically...and to the Max!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Toadee said...

thank you my friends (and I do include anon)I do intend to live life to the full because when the final whistle goes I don't want to have regrets :0)

Missy said...

Hey boyo, be strong and be well!!