Monday, 24 May 2010

the karmic nature of my health

when I was first diagnosed with depression I was (predictably) wondering what the point was and, as I began to make my first recovery I struggled with how the depression had changed my life, taken away opportunities and stained my memories. Depression is such a pointless thing and i really was resolved to cancel my subscription especially as some very special people didn't want me to be sad.
Then I get the second health blow, I suddenly find I have a heart condition and my future options are even more limited.
Either of these health problems is bad on it's own but I suddenly realise the heart thing gives meaning to the depression. people (professionals) look at my heart diagnosis and sort of mutter things like 'this could kill you' they then offer counselling to help me cope. Ha I don't need counselling because I have had a low level depression for years and death no longer holds any fear for me as in:-
'you might die tomorrow'
'that's ok, I have nothing to live for' (Ok not strictly true, I have one thing left and when I get there it will mean I need to live for a very long time)

Suddenly I don't think I'm making sense but at least I've found a way for depression to make me happy. Isn't the human brain an amazing thing?

303 comments:

1 – 200 of 303   Newer›   Newest»
Anonymous said...

Tim Honey we should talk. Delta

Toadee said...

Hi Delta :)
I'm good but that doesn't mean we can't talk lol

Missy said...

Tim sometimes we just need to spew our thoughts in the moment so we can unscramble the scrambled, then move forward.

Anonymous said...

buy xanax without prescriptions safe order xanax online - xanax side effects constipation

Anonymous said...

xanax online stronger than xanax for anxiety - pass drug test xanax 24 hours

Anonymous said...

buy xanax overnight delivery xanax 1 mg yan etkileri - how to pass a drug test with xanax

Anonymous said...

what is diazepam used for diazepam dosage maximum dose - diazepam dosage recommendation

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online cheap xanax online no rx - xanax bars for sale online

Anonymous said...

cheap diazepam online diazepam 10 mg to buy - online apotheke diazepam ohne rezept

Anonymous said...

order phentermine buy phentermine 37. 5 - phentermine user reviews

Anonymous said...

order diazepam buy diazepam online europe - diazepam 10mg legrand ms

Anonymous said...

phentermine online buy phentermine online us - phentermine 30mg buy online uk

Anonymous said...

ambien online without rx ambien cr generic yet - ambien overdose how much

Anonymous said...

buy phentermine buy phentermine online without script - buy phentermine online ottawa

Anonymous said...

ambien ambience mall gurgaon metro station nearest - ambien drug dose

Anonymous said...

buy cheap xanax numbers xanax pills - can u buy xanax online

Anonymous said...

buy ambien ambien insomnia reviews - ambien drug reactions

Anonymous said...

buy xanax overnight delivery can you overdose xanax pills - buy xanax online now

Anonymous said...

how to buy xanax online legally xanax 2mg high - drug interactions nyquil xanax

Anonymous said...

alprazolam xanax xanax with no prescription needed - xanax 2mg street value

Anonymous said...

diazepam diazepam 5mg nebenwirkung - diazepam

Anonymous said...

xanax alprazolam xanax lowest dose - xanax drug interactions lexapro

Anonymous said...

buy phentermine online where to buy phentermine online no prescription - phentermine and topiramate

Anonymous said...

how to buy xanax online legally generic xanax same xanax - easy overdose xanax alcohol

Anonymous said...

diazepam is valium diazepam for dogs price - how to buy diazepam

Anonymous said...

generic phentermine phentermine online fake - phentermine no prescription cheap

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online effects taking 2mg xanax - do xanax side effects go away

Anonymous said...

diazepam cheap diazepam dosage vet - diazepam before surgery

Anonymous said...

phentermine online phentermine 27.5mg - phentermine mg dosage

Anonymous said...

online xanax normal dosage xanax anxiety - xanax withdrawal after a week

Anonymous said...

cheap phentermine phentermine online consultation order - phentermine 60 mg

Anonymous said...

online xanax no prescription xanax pictures - xanax xr wiki

Anonymous said...

buy ambien ambien side effects vomiting - how fast does ambien cr work

Anonymous said...

diazepam synthesis generic trade name diazepam - buy diazepam online usa only

Anonymous said...

ambien 10 mg ambien withdrawal insomnia - ambien drug experience

Anonymous said...

buy soma buy soma stanyan - carisoprodol wp 5901

Anonymous said...

generic xanax buy xanax online without rx - xanax side effects twitching

Anonymous said...

buy ambien ambien side effects quitting - ambien side effects paranoia

Anonymous said...

generic alprazolam buy xanax singapore - xanax 2mg dose

Anonymous said...

diazepam half life lowest dosage diazepam - diazepam online review

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online baby overdose xanax - xanax pills sleep

Anonymous said...

cheap xanax online xanax 2mg 2090 - xanax side effects on pregnancy

Anonymous said...

phentermine pills buy phentermine online without drug - phentermine 37.5 online pharmacy

Anonymous said...

diazepam 10mg diazepam 5g side effects - cheapest diazepam online no prescription

Anonymous said...

phentermine online cheap phentermine - buy phentermine no rx

Anonymous said...

diazepam 10mg diazepam 2mg citalopram - diazepam drug info

Anonymous said...

phentermine online buying phentermine online legal - phentermine diet pills online

Anonymous said...

ambien for sale online sleep medication better than ambien - ambien side effects seizures

Anonymous said...

phentermine online how to order phentermine on line - good place to buy phentermine online

Anonymous said...

buy ambien ambien cr reviews - ambien high pressure

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online without rx xanax overdose and death - generic xanax info

Anonymous said...

buy soma 350mg soma drug test how long does it stay in your system - carisoprodol liver effects

Anonymous said...

order xanax xanax dosage 031 - xanax 1 mg time release

Anonymous said...

ordering ambien online ambien cr vs ambien 10mg - ambien 10mg and alcohol

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online cod xanax overdose how many pills - xanax effects central nervous system

Anonymous said...

generic diazepam 6 mg diazepam effects - buy cheap diazepam no prescription

Anonymous said...

soma carisoprodol soma drug dosage - somanabolic muscle maximizer free software

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax you buy online real - cheap xanax bars for sale

Anonymous said...

order tramadol online without prescription tramadol 50 mg ingredients - buy tramadol online with visa

Anonymous said...

valium diazepam diazepam pictures - diazepam dosage horses

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol canine dosage - buy discount tramadol

Anonymous said...

buy cheap diazepam diazepam 10mg/street price - cannabis withdrawal diazepam

Anonymous said...

where can i buy xanax online xanax side effects yahoo answers - xanax good alcohol withdrawal

Anonymous said...

order tramadol order tramadol no prescription - buy ultram online uk

Anonymous said...

online xanax no prescription xanax effects gaba - how does xanax pills look

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online buy tramadol online no prescription - best high tramadol

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam online que es diazepam 10 mg - pictures of generic diazepam

Anonymous said...

ambien drug ambien/zolpidem tartrate 5mg - ambien 8 hours sleep

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online drug interactions for xanax - xanax pills mg

Anonymous said...

buy soma online uses for carisoprodol 350 mg - buy soma spliffs

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam diazepam dosage in cats - buy diazepam 10mg online usa

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol opiate - tramadol liver

Anonymous said...

buy ambien online side effects stopping ambien cr - ambien drug label

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg can you buy soma online - legal buy soma online

Anonymous said...

xanax sale reviews for buying xanax online - xanax 1mg side effects

Anonymous said...

tramadol online buy tramadol online overnight cod - buy tramadol online no rx

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod fedex tramadol 600mg - what is the good dose of tramadol

Anonymous said...

order diazepam buy diazepam online legally usa - ketamine diazepam dosage

Anonymous said...

buy ambien ambien cr and generic - can't sleep on ambien

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg many mg carisoprodol overdose - where can i buy soma online

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 50mg effects - can you buy tramadol in canada

Anonymous said...

buy generic ambien online buy ambien online europe - new ambien pill

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol overnight tramadol high energy - tramadol cheap prices

Anonymous said...

buy soma online buy soma spliffs - order soma net

Anonymous said...

tramadol online no prescription tramadol hcl 377 - tramadol 50 mg lexapro

Anonymous said...

generic xanax buy xanax online mexico - drug reactions to xanax

Anonymous said...

can you buy tramadol online legally tramadol 10mg - tramadol hcl restless leg syndrome

Anonymous said...

xanax cost hair follicle drug test xanax - buy cheap xanax canada

Anonymous said...

order tramadol online overnight tramadol dosage child - buy cheap tramadol online no prescription

Anonymous said...

mixing diazepam and lorazepam diazepam 10 mg 2 ml - diazepam 10mg for sale usa

Anonymous said...

xanax cheap xanax bars 555 - xanax grapefruit juice

Anonymous said...

generic diazepam online can you buy diazepam online usa - picture of diazepam 10mg

Anonymous said...

ambien no prescription ambien online radio - ambien dosage europe

Anonymous said...

buy xanax canada drugs online xanax - illegal order xanax online

Anonymous said...

soma online generic soma pill - soma medication information

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol online tramadol online fedex next day - трамадол инструкция

Anonymous said...

diazepam and dosage pink diazepam 10mg - buy diazepam 2mg no prescription

Anonymous said...

ambien 5 ambien medication - online ambien music generator

Anonymous said...

buy soma online grapefruit juice carisoprodol - order soma watson online

Anonymous said...

order tramadol buy tramadol online visa - buy tramadol 200

Anonymous said...

diazepam online what is diazepam generic name - diazepam long term use

Anonymous said...

zolpidem 10 mg ambien cr blue - buy generic ambien no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy soma online where to buy soma cube - buy aura soma usa

Anonymous said...

discount ambien buy ambien online us pharmacy - fight urge sleep ambien

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol online buy tramadol cheap - buy cheap tramadol uk

Anonymous said...

buy soma generic soma drug - carisoprodol side effects liver

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online no prescription cheap round white xanax 2mg - xanax drug 5mg

Anonymous said...

tramadol buy tramadol buy - buy tramadol with paypal

Anonymous said...

where can i buy xanax online buy xanax online for cheap - cheap xanax to buy online

Anonymous said...

buy discount tramadol tramadol 50mg or 100mg - tramadol 821

Anonymous said...

buy xanax xanax .25 mg effects - xanax 2mg dose

Anonymous said...

tramadol online tramadol no prescription - tramadol hcl itching

Anonymous said...

tramadol online buy tramadol topix - can buy tramadol mexico

Anonymous said...

alprazolam xanax and alcohol how much - buy xanax online no prescription mastercard

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol buy tramadol no rx - tramadol hcl overdose amount

Anonymous said...

diazepam 5mg diazepam generic for valium - percocet diazepam high

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol online tramadol hcl medicine - buy tramadol 50mg online

Anonymous said...

soma drug buy soma from india - buy soma seeds

Anonymous said...

buy alprazolam online without prescription xanax is the best drug ever - xanax green pill

Anonymous said...

ambien cheap discount ambience mall gurgaon - buy ambien pills online

Anonymous said...

diazepam dog cheap diazepam - diazepam recreational drug use

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol with mastercard tramadol hcl acetaminophen - tramadol online missouri

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma intimates online code - carisoprodol and breastfeeding

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol order tramadol - buy tramadol online overnight cod

Anonymous said...

buy cheap ambien drug interactions xanax ambien - price 30 ambien

Anonymous said...

diazepam online diazepam withdrawal stories - buy valium 20mg online

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol overnight delivery cheap tramadol 180 - tramadol zofran interaction

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma intimates online code - carisoprodol and breastfeeding

Anonymous said...

zolpidem online ambien side effects eating - ambien cr during pregnancy

Anonymous said...

order tramadol overnight purchase tramadol online - tramadol hcl acetaminophen 650

Anonymous said...

generic xanax xanax just makes me sleep - xanax bars feeling

Anonymous said...

buy soma online buy soma online no prescription needed - dosage for carisoprodol 350 mg

Anonymous said...

alprazolam medication buy xanax bars online - view xanax pills

Anonymous said...

tramadol online no prescription buy tramadol uk cheap - trusted online pharmacy tramadol

Anonymous said...

where can i buy xanax online buy xanax from trusted pharmacy - xanax dosage for flying anxiety

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online cod overnight buy tramadol cheap no prescription - tramadol 50 mg espanol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online cod overnight buy tramadol valium online - tramadol hydrochloride high

Anonymous said...

xanax can i take 2mg of xanax at once - xanax withdrawal restless leg

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online cod overnight where can i purchase tramadol with a mastercard - buy tramadol ampules

Anonymous said...

buy diazepam diazepam valium drug schedule - diazepam tropfen online kaufen

Anonymous said...

xanax cost xanax generic no prescription - alprazolam 0 5mg c 30 ems

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma muscle relaxant drug testing - order somatropin uk

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol 50mg dosage dogs - tramadol 50mg tablets high

Anonymous said...

online diazepam buy diazepam roche - how to order diazepam online

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg muscle relaxer medication soma - carisoprodol 350mg tablets info

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cash on delivery order tramadol no prescription cheap - tramadol jittery

Anonymous said...

buy ambien ambien side effects sleep eating - zolpidem vs ambien

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol before surgery - online pharmacy tramadol overnight

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg somanabolic muscle maximizer fake - christmas radio online soma

Anonymous said...

diazepam online is diazepam for dogs the same as for humans - safe place buy diazepam

Anonymous said...

where to buy tramadol online buy tramadol money order - tramadol normal dosage

Anonymous said...

ambien pills ambien mg doses - ambien side effects bruising

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol drug soma drug screening urine - do they drug test soma

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol ultram online florida - tramadol hcl 200

Anonymous said...

zolpidem no prescription ambien for high blood pressure - ambien cr rxlist

Anonymous said...

soma without prescription soma drug test - soma drug withdrawal

Anonymous said...

tramadol online buy tramadol fedex - tramadol pregnancy

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol with paypal buy tramadol online - buy tramadol canada

Anonymous said...

alprazolam price xanax side effects for men - 6 mg xanax overdose

Anonymous said...

buy generic tramadol online tramadol zydus 50 mg - illegal to get tramadol online

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol no prescription purchase tramadol - buy ultram no prescription

Anonymous said...

cheap alprazolam xanax overdose many mg - buy xanax online pharmacy

Anonymous said...

diazepam without prescription diazepam 15 mg - diazepam dosage sleep problems

Anonymous said...

buy ambien took 2 10mg ambien - ambien sleepwalking incidents

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol 20mg - where can i purchase tramadol with a mastercard

Anonymous said...

soma drug carisoprodol 250 mg side effects - soma compound more drug_side_effects

Anonymous said...

generic xanax where to buy xanax online no prescription - xanax 2mg alcohol

Anonymous said...

buy soma online carisoprodol buy - carisoprodol dosage children

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online no rx drug test information xanax - buy xanax from canada

Anonymous said...

cheap generic soma carisoprodol dosage get high - soma 250 drug interactions

Anonymous said...

xanax online Montana can you take 2mg of xanax at once - buy xanax online pharmacy no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online xanax 2 mg how long - do employers drug test xanax

Anonymous said...

buy xanax 1mg xanax effects fetus - pictures generic xanax 1mg

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online forum buy alprazolam europe - do employment drug tests test xanax

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol cod tramadol dosage buzz - tramadol 50 mg mfg zydus

Anonymous said...

buy xanax xanax withdrawal tremors - do you withdrawal xanax

Anonymous said...

cheap tramadol no prescription tramadol hcl 25mg dogs - buy tramadol online uk

Anonymous said...

how to buy xanax online legally alprazolam 0.5mg and alcohol - buy xanax online no prescription australia

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol hcl tramadol dosage weight dogs - tramadol narcotic

Anonymous said...

alprazolam buy what does the drug xanax do to you - norco xanax high

Anonymous said...

buy xanax overnight delivery xanax with alcohol high - 20 mg xanax overdose

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online North Carolina ativan vs xanax for anxiety - xanax 2 mg extended release

Anonymous said...

generic xanax Minnesota xanax food drug interactions - what are the effects of the drug xanax on the cns

Anonymous said...

xanax online Washington buy xanax valium online florida - generic xanax .25 mg

Anonymous said...

xanax no rx do xanax show up drug test - buy xanax us online

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online cod overnight tramadol hcl 200 er - zydol 50mg tramadol hydrochloride

Anonymous said...

xanax online Alaska online doctor prescription xanax - generic equivalent of xanax

Anonymous said...

buy xanax xanax 1 mg - xanax overdose painful

Anonymous said...

alprazolam medication generic xanax gg 249 - xanax bars u94

Anonymous said...

buy xanax xanax overdose how much is too much - can i order xanax online

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online cheap how to buy alprazolam - xanax side effects upset stomach

Anonymous said...

xanax online Miami up dosage xanax - alprazolam 0 5mg beipackzettel

Anonymous said...

alprazolam xanax bars amount - buy xanax online yahoo answers

Anonymous said...

buy xanax bars online no prescription mail order xanax legal - lorazepam vs xanax high

Anonymous said...

can i buy xanax online xanax lorazepam - buy xanax online pharmacy

Anonymous said...

generic xanax Long Beach xanax no prescription pharmacy - buy 1 mg xanax online

Anonymous said...

how to buy xanax online legally xanax and alcohol dangers - buy xanax online yahoo answers

Anonymous said...

buy generic ambien online ambien cr dosage information - ambien side effects eyes

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online without rx xanax bars song - order xanax without an rx

Anonymous said...

buy ambien where to buy ambien forum - generic to ambien

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 303   Newer› Newest»