Thursday, 30 August 2007

The nekkid toad (big in plastic)

I posted this a few weeks back but I want people to read it so I'm re-posting it! I was hoping this would be the first in a new line to challenge that bimbo Barbie.Of course there is a desperate need for more specialized Toadee dolls and in the spirit of the moment I approached a major manufacturer to suggest a nekkid Toadee doll.Here is a short except from the discussion which may help you to understand why the nekkid Toadee isn't going into production just yet.

T = Toadee
CE = Chief executive

T: I really think this could work, Ken made it big, why not Toadee?

CE: I have to say we have looked very carefully at your proposal and there are some issues.

T: Issues? ok, lets get them on the table

CE: ah, well I'm not sure we should be putting these issues on the table

T: sorry you've lost me

CE :(sotto voce) I wishCE: well the thing is, ken was, well, lacking in certain areas

T: ?

CE: he was well, not all Barbie might have hoped for, a disappointment, not all there, less than a whole man.

T: ah, got ya, but that needn't be a problem here, The toadee doll must be 100% realistic.

CE: that IS the problem

T: no, don't tell me, if you were to add the bits Ken don't have AND be realistic the cost of the extra plastic would be too high. Am I right or am I right?

CE: can I be blunt? thank you. The thing is we have spent a lot of money making scale models and market testing. The model we used was 100% accurate everything was in the proportions found on a real toadee.

T: woohoo, world plastic shortage? fainting ladies? massive fan club?

CE: actually none of the above

T: so what's the problem?

CE: we showed the Nekkid Toadee doll to 100 people
10% laughed
10% Cried
50% said that we should add something down below
20% couldn't see any difference between the Nekkid Toadee and a naked Ken
and 10% offered money for the specialist surgery for whoever the doll was based on.

so that's why you won't be getting a nekkid toadee doll in your stocking next Christmas.

Of course this is all a work of fiction (or is it?)


Anonymous said...

And, we need to talk about this, too.

I appreciate that you want to challenge Barbie, who by the wa,y is much less of a bimbo since she dumped Ken, but I think you've gone about this all wrong!

Nekkid Toadee (and do you know what nekkid means in American?) should just shove a sock down his trousers. I hear Ken did that all the time.

Toadee said...

what does nekkid mean in american?

Anonymous said...

Naked means that you don't have any clothes on.

Nekkid means that you don't have any clothes on, and you are up to no good.

Nekkid probably does work best for you! lol!

Toadee said...

so i did use the correct word...

Anonymous said...

Yes. You did. I just wasn't sure you appreciated how correct it is...well, at least in your case.


J Morgetron said...

I'll send you a Trash Lady if you send me a naked Toadee doll. Even swap.


Toadee said...

if the production problems are ever resolved you will certainly get one